Investigating Sara Sidle
by Jane Doe
Summary: Strong PG-13! Sara is accused of murder. Gris and the gang race to solve the crime but not w/o discovering something about Sara's past. R/R!
1. Default Chapter

Investigating Sara Sidle 

By Jane Doe 

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the CSI characters, I am clearly just obsessed with them. 

Author Notes: Entire story done from Grissom's point-of-view, because he is the man! Don't really know how it will end, but it should prove interesting. I love feedback! So even if you hate it, tell me. Thanks! 

Chapter 1: Unexpected Guest 

I was early again to work but I had paperwork to do. Well really I hoped I would see Sara there so we could talk. She had the past two days off so I knew she would be in as early as possible without getting in trouble with dayshift. The truth was I wanted to talk to her about us. We were drifting apart, very far apart. After my unnecessary bitterness, about her being late, and then sending her solo, I tried to say sorry by assigning her to every case I was on. But that wasn't working. We still hardly spoke which I blame on myself. I didn't want to admit it but I was jealous of her relationship with Hank. Well anyway, the subtle Grissom approach wasn't working so I was going to talk to her. I decided after the last case of utter silence between us that she would be the first one I was going to tell about my hearing. It was going to be rough. Sara was unpredictable and can be emotional at times. I don't think I can handle her crying; crying for me, it was hard enough. Of course then again Sara isn't as emotional as others think. I just don't want to hurt her anymore, so maybe this will fix things. God knows I need her whit, curiosity, and, God that smile, back in my life. I thought about telling Catherine a couple times, but never thought myself brave enough to approach her. I've known her for a long time, and I respect her as a CSI and a very close friend. But Sara should be told first or at least I think so. Maybe I should tell them all at once then deal with each reaction individually, that way no one feels left out. But I need Sara to feel special, I've been a jerk to her and I want her to be there for me when this gets bad. Actually, I would prefer if I didn't have to tell anyone, but we don't always get what we want. I want my hearing back, I want to keep my job, but mostly I want Sara. 

I look at my watch and realize I haven't gotten any closer to finishing my paperwork than an hour ago. Funny how time flies when your mind is preoccupied. Sara still hasn't shown up. Maybe I should call and let her know I want to speak to her before shift. She is probably just itching to come in early but wants to avoid me. In the end I decide to call and let her know we need to talk. I hope I can control my voice and it won't betray the importance of my situation, I don't want her to think something is terribly wrong. But who are you kidding Gil, there is something terribly wrong. You are losing your hearing! I pull myself together before I hear her voice on the other end. 

"Hey Sara..." But it was just her answering machine. Damn. I missed her, but I leave a message anyway and hang up. 

I choose to finish my paperwork, and once again time slips away from me. Goes to show I don't have much time left with good hearing. Soon the silence will overcome me. 

"Grissom!" 

I look up to see a very distraught Catherine standing at the doorway to my office. By the look on her face I can tell she has been standing there for quite sometime calling my name. "Sorry but this paperwork...its a mess." 

"Right. Well you ready to hand out assignments or can we go home?" 

"I am coming." We walked down the hall together towards the lounge where everyone was supposed to be gathered. I felt bad because I didn't get to catch Sara before now, but I put it on hold and went into work mode. I began to give out assignments. 

"Well not much tonight, we actually have only one case and it seems like an open/shut case. Nothing too important." 

"We aren't that lucky." Warrick said. 

"No we are that good." Catherine put in with a smile. "We just find too many clues to complicate things. No one just dies nowadays." 

Everyone laughed at Catherine's joke but I kept going. "So tonight will be slow, for a change, so I want all paperwork completed." A series of sighs came from the group. "I know I hate it too, but...where's Sara?" I scanned the room. Sometimes it was easy to miss her because she often was behind someone or preoccupied with the coffee pot, but I didn't find her.  
"Don't know? I thought she was off today." Nick said. "I haven't seen her." 

"She was due back tonight. Where is she?" The tension in my voice was becoming apparent so I tried to recover. "Well?" 

"I believe I can answer your question." A man's voice said from behind me. 

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tbc... 


	2. Road Trip

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews and keep them coming! Sorry for the cliffhanger, but I wanted to just get my thoughts out there before I continued. Here's the next chapter. 

Chapter 2: Road Trip 

"And you are?" Catherine snapped. 

"Officer Jeremy Green of the San Francisco PD." 

The man was young, about same age as Nick and Warrick. He wasn't very buff like them though. My eyes picked every detail about the man. He wore a nice navy suit and blue tie. The shine on his shoes told me that he took pride in his appearance. "Can I see your identification please, Mr. Green?" I asked, but it was more of a command. Once pleased I gave the I.D. Back. "What are you doing here?" 

"Well, this is where Sara Sidle works, am I correct?" 

"Yeah but she's not here." Nick explained. 

"I know she is in San Francisco being held for charges against her." 

My mouth and everyone else's mouth dropped open. "Excuse me?" I manage to croak out. 

"She had quite an incident with a Mr. Thomas McBride. She killed him with her weapon issued by Las Vegas." 

"No way. Sara wouldn't harm anyone." Nick exclaimed. The news was shocking to all of us. 

"Well if it makes you feel better she is claiming self defense." The man glared at us, and continued. "Oh wait. My information came out wrong, I can tell by the look on your faces." 

"No shit." Warrick murmured. 

The man continued, despite Warrick's attitude. "She is currently in the San Fran Hospital being treated for severe wounds, not in prison. You see she hasn't been charged, yet." 

My heart sank and I thought everyone had surely heard it. "What happened?" 

"Well according to a witness, Sara was attacked. And was badly beaten." 

Nick spoke the words I didn't have the courage to. "Was she rap...raped?" Everyone knew Sara was always touchy about such cases, we just hoped Sara wasn't one of them. Anyone that would have to live with such pain, well, I just can't imagine. 

"No. But it looks like he might have tried. Her pants were undone and her shirt torn when I found her. That is when we suspect that she shot him." 

"Well that is self defense, no jury would ever convict her." Catherine said. "That bastard deserved to be shot." 

The man started again. "I am afraid that its not that simple. First of all no one saw her shoot him. They just saw him pull her out of her car and inside a apartment complex. Its a case of he said she said. Secondly, it wasn't a random attack. Sara knew the man and we still don't know why she came to San Fran anyway. And why she came with a firearm. Right now it is looking like she came with the intent to kill him. That's why I am here." He waited. "I am on your side by all means. My boss wants your team Mr. Grissom on Sara's case." 

"But we are too close, any evidence we touch would be tainted." I interjected. "Nothing would hold up in court." 

"Well we looked at it this way and the courts agree. Sara spent a longer time in San Francisco and knows a lot more people. Sara was quite popular there, even though she was quite the loner. Everyone adored her. So you see we are more likely to taint the evidence, at least in the courts eyes we are. And the PD won't send for the FBI because of the money involved." 

"The FBI services are free nationwide Mr. Green." I put in. 

"You and I both know the world is run by money Mr. Grissom. And it just so happens the director of the FBI thinks it would be a waste of resources to put a task force on Sara's case. Therefore it will cost them money. So will you? You are the best team for the job. Sara could use you." 

"Why do you care so much about Sara?" I asked incredulously. 

"Like I said she was popular. I worked with her for some time. She was a very dear friend, like a sister really. And yes ma'am the attacker deserved it, trust me I knew him and knew what he was capable of. Now charges haven't been filed yet but I bet they will be by the time we get there. Do you accept my offer?" 

"Yes." Nick spoke for all of us. 

"Good. Sara will need a few friendly faces." 

"Does Sara know we will be on her case?" I asked. Sara was very fond of her privacy and if this somehow connected to the past, like it was looking, I didn't want to intrude. A hurt Sara was bad news and an angry Sara was even worse. 

"No but she should be grateful. You are close aren't you? She always talked about the bug man in Vegas." The man smiled. 

"As close as he allows." I heard Catherine whisper. 

I chose to ignore her though. "How long do we have to pack?" 

"I'll give you an hour and a half. Mind you we have our own lab there so pack light. You will need clothes. This won't be an open/shut case like you think. You might be there for a while." 

I turned my back to the man and faced the group. "Go home get some stuff, meet back here to collect anything that would help with the case. Then we go to San Francisco." 

Nick's Texas grin was contagious. They all cracked a smile to be spared doing paperwork, but they just wished it could have been under better circumstances. 

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tbc... 


	3. Obstacles

Chapter Three: Obstacles 

I packed light, so I wasn't surprised that I was the first one back at CSI headquarters. I wanted to get a few items of my own that would help with the case. I packed my metal field kit full of anything and everything imaginable. I grabbed the red creeper off my shelf and was instantly reminded of Sara. I remember when she questioned it. I believe I told her that it was a special concoction for a special case. Well this couldn't get more special. I also made a mental note to remind Catherine to pack the best camera we had, that took the clearest pictures. We will need to make sure we don't miss a beat. I was already a little shaken that by the time we got there the crime scene was old. Possible evidence could have been lost and again I made a mental note to post that in my reported findings. I was so lost in thought, that I didn't hear Conrad Ecklie enter my office. And I knew it had nothing to with my hearing, because I could hear all the background noise of the lab. Sometimes I wish I could pick the moments when my hearing left me; right now would be one of those times. 

"I heard about Sidle. You think you can just pick up and leave. I talked to the sheriff and he hasn't approved of this." His tone was filled with contempt. 

I turned to face him. "You are talking like I care Conrad." My temper became short. "Sara is in trouble, we need to be there." 

"Why do I get the feeling this is a personal thing? Are you two an item now? Is she giving you some? I have to admit she has that whole sex thing going on." 

I lost it. I shouldn't have but I did; I punched him directly in the jaw. He stumbled back upon impact and my fist immediately began to throb with pain. "You know I would do this for any of my CSIs." Then I quickly added, "And don't ever talk about her like that." 

Ecklie approached me. "You might not have job to come back to Gil." He said in a threatening tone. 

"Maybe not but I will still have my integrity. Move I have a case to solve. You know, that's what we do. Solve crimes for the victim or have you forgotten?" 

"I am just saying to watch it Gil." 

"Maybe you should watch it." I spat. Luckily for Ecklie, Catherine came in to break up the tension. 

"Conrad doesn't the sheriff need you?" She said mockingly. 

"This isn't between you and me Catherine. Don't make it." 

"I will if I have to." Catherine got in his face causing me to step back. "You see you can't threaten my job. I won't hesitate to take you with me Conrad." 

"What are you teaching your people Gil? Keep them in line and out of my face." He turned back to Catherine. "Don't think your job is so secure Mrs. Willows." 

"Its as secure as yours." 

"Watch yourself Gil." Ecklie walked towards the door. "This isn't over Gil." Was all he said before slamming the office door. 

"That son-of-a-bitch." I knew I surprised Catherine with my language so I quickly apologized. "Sorry. Are you packed?" 

"Yes and you shouldn't be sorry. Ecklie is an S.O.B no arguing there. And yes I even got the best camera that I knew you would ask for." 

"How did you know?" 

"Serious case, serious equipment." 

"It sounds to me that you are beginning to read my mind. I am getting scared." I smiled. 

"Yeah, before you know it we can finish each other's sentences like you and Sara." Catherine must have noticed my change in demeanor at the thought of Sara, so she changed the subject. "I better go pack some ice for that hand slugger." She gave me a short nudge of the elbow. 

"Thanks." Was all I could say. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

We loaded my Tahoe and Warrick's with all of our best equipment and reconvened in the lounge. I had to talk to them before we left. 

"Okay guys, settle down. This is what I want once we get there. First we need to go to the scene then review all the evidence as a group. Now according to Mr. Green," I motioned to him as he stood in the doorway, "the scene has already had a preliminary collection before they were removed from the case, but I want to see it ourselves." 

"You forgot. The first thing I want to do is see Sara." Nick interrupted. "We should all go see her and let her know what's going on." 

"I agree Gris. She should know that we are on her case." Catherine fiddled with the lip of her Styrofoam cup. 

"Okay. You are right. First we will see Sara, then process the scene. Agreed." 

They all filed out of the room to the cars. Nick stopped me on my way out. "Thanks Gris. I really do need to see her." 

"I know. We all do." Nick and Sara were always close and I was grateful for that. She would always have someone to turn to if she couldn't turn to me. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

We arrived in San Francisco making good time. I forgot just how beautiful it really was; nothing like Vegas. The air was wet from the bay. Not to mention very refreshing compared to the hot Nevada air. It really was a beautiful city. The hills were immense in angle and the homes slanted because of the tilt of the landscape. But Las Vegas was home, with its hot, sometimes humid air. The heat was intense during the day and it was nonexistent at night. Sometimes the desert would reach almost freezing after the sun went down. It was a harsh land, to be perfectly honest, and had no real appeal. Vegas after all had the second best lab in the country, which was most of its appeal to me. 

We were all restless and anticipating the next twenty four hours. They were going to be the most hard to get through. It always was with a tough case, whether the case was tough because the evidence didn't cooperate or the fact that the crime was so appalling. It was both this time. 

We all followed Mr. Green into the hospital. "Yes we are here to see Miss Sara Sidle." He said politely to the nurse behind the front desk. 

"What's the name again?" She asked. 

"Sidle, Sara." 

"Okay here we are. I am sorry but she was released about two hours ago." 

"What!" Mr. Green seemed to lose it. "In her condition? Who approved?" 

I was starting to get worried now and I am sure my face reflected just that. Mr. Green never described Sara's condition, he just said she was pretty beaten up. But reacting like this was making me wonder how bad Sara really was. 

"Well the doctor released her to the police. They came in and arrested her." 

"Do you know the officer's name?" 

"No sir." 

"Well do you know the doctor?" 

"Yes I can go get him. Would you like to see him?" 

"Ahhh yeah!" 

The nurse walked away to some unknown place. 

Warrick broke the silence. "I thought you said she was in bad shape. Why would a doctor approve her dismissal?" 

"That's what I want to find out." Mr. Green said. 

Finally the nurse returned with a very good looking doctor. He wore round glasses and was fairly tall. Before I could observe him any longer Mr. Green interrupted my thoughts. 

"I should have known that you were the piece of shit that released Sara." He hissed. 

"Good to see you Jeremy. Before you get all wrapped up in the details look at the big picture. Sara was well enough to be arrested. After all this is a hospital, not a place for murders." 

"You ass. Sara did not commit murder and you know it. And don't lie I know you did it for your brother. I saw Sara and she was in no condition whatsoever to be released." 

"Don't you dare insult my credibility." The doctor poked his finger in Mr. Green's chest. 

"Well I am right? The arresting officer was Ethan, wasn't it?" 

"Yes but that has nothing to do with it." 

"Right. I wouldn't trust you with the life of my goldfish, you fake." Mr. Green turned to face us completely ignoring the doctor. "We better go now." 

The doctor quickly turned on his heels at the insult and left. 

"What's wrong?" Catherine asked. 

"Do you have someone in Vegas that is determined to be a complete jerk? And isn't cut out for his job?" 

"Ecklie." They all answered in unison. I had to smile. 

"Well, Ethan Parks is that man in San Francisco. He isn't even a CSI. He is the officer that works with us." 

"I don't get it." Catherine stated honestly and frankly I was also confused. 

"Sara and Ethan never got along, I mean never. And he is not the right person to be interrogating Sara." 

I grabbed his shoulder and spun him to face me. "Mr. Green..." 

"Call me Jeremy." 

"Fine. Jeremy what do you mean? Be specific." 

He sighed heavily. "Ethan has trouble controlling his temper. And he will wear Sara down to get a confession out of her. He won't settle for anything else." 

"He can't do that!" Nick yelled. 

"I know but daddy is the judge and baby brother got his medical degree for free, so you put it together. He is currently involved in a internal investigation for excessive force, but once again daddy got him back on duty until the verdict is in." 

"What you can do with money." Warrick murmured. 

"Yeah I know. Mr. Grissom we need to get to Sara. Trust me." 

"Then let's go." 

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tbc... 


	4. Scientists vs Officers

**Author's Notes:** I was asked to do a Sara POV but I don't think it can work until later in my story because of the way I set it up. I think I am on chapter 10 now. If you are wondering why I already have 10 chapters but only 4 are posted here is why: I have to write ahead to catch my mistakes in the early chapters and know where my story is going. Sorry if you hate me for it. Anywho...Being Grissom is hard to say the least. To write about his character is way easier than being him. So I actually thought about switching over to Sara's POV. I can be her no problem. 

Should I switch between the two later in my story or do you like the Grissom POV? I just thought I put Sara through enough pain with my other stories and her POV would only mean a state of mind since she isn't allowed to know about the case. What do you think? 

**Feedback:** Write More reviews please about my POV, I love to hear from you all. Thanks again for the reviews from. 

Chapter 4: The Officers vs. The Scientists 

When we got to the station we were all a little worried about Sara. According to Jeremy she would be held at the police station, but we were directed to the building next door to drop off our gear and check in. We went in single file through the double glass doors. 

"Sorry but we have to check you guys in first. Come on my boss can't wait to meet you." 

"It sounds like we have fans." Nick grinned. "Who thought we were so popular." 

Jeremy called back to Nick in a happy tone. "You are the best team. By the end of the year we are always compared to Vegas when it comes to solving crimes. We do okay I suppose, better than most." 

"Well I had no idea we got such credibility. I mean we were just doing our job." Nick replied. "And having so much fun too." Warrick added. 

"Well now you know. Wait here." Jeremy disappeared into a office. 

"Hey Gris," Warrick called. 

"Yes." 

"Do you think someone is trying to set Sara up? I mean, we haven't even collected evidence and it looks to me like foul play." 

"We have to follow the evidence Warrick. I know its hard, its hard for all of us, but the evidence has never failed us before." 

"What if it does?" Nick countered. 

"Then we bust her out of her and make a run for it." Catherine said grabbing Nick's shoulder for reassurance. "It will all work out Nicky. I promise." 

Jeremy returned with a older heavyset man in tow. "This is Mr. Nathaniel Dobbs head of CSI: San Francisco." 

"Its nice to meet you." I said shaking his hand. 

"No the pleasure is mine. I just wish we could have met over better circumstances." 

"I agree. Have you seen her?" 

"No I haven't been to the hospital yet." 

"But Dobbs," Jeremy interrupted. "Sara was released into custody about two and half hours ago." 

"What? We haven't even processed her or got a statement yet. Who is the officer?" 

"Ethan." 

"Well lets go. I bet Sara could use the break." 

I took notice that the lab was nice, very nice. Everyone seemed efficient and busy with work. The design was something that San Francisco had on us. In Vegas, the crime lab was part of the police department. There was definitely more space here. The buildings were separate but joined by a hallway located behind the lab. I didn't even notice that they were connected out front. It was a very good design. 

Once we stepped through the doors that lead into the police department it was chaos. The quiet efficiency of the lab was left behind, replaced by shouting and typing. It was a sea of blue uniforms instead of white lab coats. The confusion was enough to give me a headache. Dobbs lead the way through the commotion and Jeremy picked up the rear. We caught a few unhappy faces. I knew then that the difference between CSI and police officer was a problem here. I was grateful we got along so well with our officers back home. 

Dobbs checked a roster board of some sort outside of one of the interrogation rooms. I instantly knew that the only thing separating me and Sara was that door. 

"Well, the good news is that she didn't confess to anything. And she is alone. That means we won't have a fight on our hands with Ethan to speak to her." 

"The bad news?" Catherine asked. 

"The bad news is that her interrogation just ended." 

"Jesus. She's been in there for almost two hours being grilled by Ethan and his buddies." Jeremy added. 

"Mr. Grissom you can come see Sara. I am sure she could use a friend. The rest of you can watch the questioning from in there." He pointed to a side door. The crew gave me a smile of reassurance then I turned back to Dobbs. 

"I haven't seen Sara since she left about three years ago." Dobbs started. "I want to warn you that she may not be...in great shape. Jeremy filled me in on what he saw when he found her. I'll go get the casefile and have one of my assistants bring it to you as soon as possible." 

"Thank you." I pushed through the door and softly closed it behind me. 

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tbc... 


	5. Saving Sara

Author's Notes: Thanks again for the reviews, you guys rock! I tended to notice your lovely threats sent to me and passionate claims that I am evil, so I thought maybe I should give you the next chapter.lol. This one isn't much of a cliffhanger. I hope you enjoy it though. And keep the reviews coming! Even threats are nice! 

Chapter 5: Saving Sara 

Sara had her head down on the table with her arms outstretched before her. She didn't even look up when I entered, the first sign that she was emotionally and physically worn down. She was dressed in a gray short sleeve shirt that was way to big for her and issued by the state. Her pants matched in color and in size. The first thing I noticed was the dark bruises resembling fingers on her arms, like she was held down. Not to mention the cuts on her wrists from excessive force with the handcuffs. I pulled out the chair opposite of her and sat down, waiting for her to lift her head but she didn't. The life seemed to be drained from her body. Her shoulders were slumped and drawn close to her head. I was scared. I don't know why but seeing Sara like this made me scared. I guess I was afraid that I was too late to save her. It seemed I just couldn't get my timing right with Sara. 

Of all the years I have known Sara, not once has she looked so...hurt or broken. She always had a special vibrancy that no one could match. Her smile was amazing, her curiosity unmatched, her intelligence remarkable, and her beauty stunning. A million and one reactions were played through my head as I stared at her still form. Is it possible to feel one's pain like I do now? I had to reach out for her, it was killing me to see her this way. 

I leaned forward and placed my hand on her bruised arm. "Sara," 

Her head shot up like I had struck her, surprising me. She had a deep cut on her forehead and several bruises on her face. The most prominent one was on the left eye. 

"Gri...Grissom?" Tears began to fill her eyes, but she didn't cry. I knew she couldn't, she wanted to appear strong. She always had to be strong. If only I could tell her she didn't have to be for me. It took all I had to be strong myself. 

"What are you doing here?" She finally said. 

"I heard you needed a friend." I got up and moved my chair next to her's to close the gap between us. 

"So you know? That I killed someone." 

"Yes." 

"I had to Grissom he was all over me." Sara's voice became shrill and she started to shake. "I had no choice!" 

"Shh I know." I pulled her hands into my lap, softly rubbing a bruised knuckle. Her skin was soft and warm, just like I thought it would be. "The whole gang is here for you." 

"Where?" 

"Behind you." 

Sara turned to the two way mirror, then turned back quickly. 

"Sara you look fine." I assured her. "Just as beautiful as the first day I saw you." I couldn't believe I just said that. I hoped that the sound was off to the viewing room. 

She laughed softly. "Thanks but that wasn't what I was thinking." 

I backed away from her slightly. "We were put on your case." 

"What?" 

"I know. But we couldn't just leave you here. I think Nick was going crazy without you." I said trying to lighten the mood. 

"But I don't want you on my case. Why can't someone else take it?" 

I wasn't entirely shocked that she said this so I was prepared for her stubbornness. "The courts decided that this was best of two evils. San Francisco couldn't do it, and the FBI wouldn't take the case because of money reasons." She looked away from me. "Sara we are here to help. No one thinks..." 

"I don't care what people think now, but I will care later. I don't want you on my case. I don't mean just you, Grissom, I mean Catherine, Warrick, and Nick too. I will have to work with them everyday when this is over. And every time I look into their eyes I will see concern and sympathy." 

"Sara..." I began but she cut me off. 

"I don't take sympathy Grissom. We all have had rough times in our lives and I don't need anyone feeling sorry for me." 

"No one feels sorry for you Sara, we just want to help." It was a simple fact. 

"You will when this case is over. I can already see it in your eyes, and I'll see it in Nicky's eyes, and Warrick's, and Catherine's eyes. I would rather handle this by myself." 

"I won't let you. We care about you too much Sara. Please." 

Her head fell once again. "I'm scared." 

I didn't expect that admission from Sara Sidle, ever. I knew she was headed for the bottom but no idea that this was hitting her that hard. I had to stop her from going any further. "Sara there is nothing to be afraid of. You are safe and with four very eager CSI's that want to clear your name. And I promise we will do just that." 

"I couldn't ask for better CSI's." She looked up, and I could have swore I saw the sparkle return to her eyes. 

"I heard you were questioned for quite a long time." I said changing the subject. 

"Yeah, by Ethan. What a jerk." 

"Let's start there. Who is he and why is he out to get you?" 

She let out a heavy sigh like the words themselves took her breath away. "I did the first internal investigation on him that put the spotlight on his career. And almost got him convicted, but my evidence was lost. He walked." 

"What happened to the evidence? I know you don't just loose evidence." 

"I was a rookie. I thought I really did loose it, I accepted my loss very hard. I was sure I placed the evidence in the evidence room. I will never forget my mistake. Now I am extra careful around evidence and how it is transported." 

"Do you really think you lost it? From what I hear this guy could have lost it for you." 

"Of course it crossed my mind but I didn't have the credibility to challenge his father." 

"I should have known." I said. "Well how do you feel?" 

"Like crap. I hate hospitals but I think I was released too early. My side is killing me, not to mention my head." 

"That's a nasty cut." I reached up and touched it. "Are your ribs broken?" 

"Yeah two of them, they bandaged me up but didn't give me anything for the pain. Afraid I would overdose to avoid conviction I guess." 

"I'll see what I can do." 

"Thanks." 

"Do you feel like seeing the gang?" 

"Not really. I know that they want to see me but..." 

"Understood. Be right back." 

"Okay." 

"Do you want some coffee?" I asked her. 

"Please that would be great." 

I exited the room and found four very concerned faces that were already waiting to go in. 

"Can we see her?" Nick asked practically going in the room already. 

"Sorry Nick but she isn't ready. I barely convinced her to let us handle the case." 

"Like you would have let her choose." Warrick snorted. 

Catherine spoke up in my defense. "He would have Warrick. Am I right Gris?" 

"The last thing I want to do is push her. She had to accept our help, if she didn't I couldn't force it. I would have requested that someone else take the case." 

"But she agreed right?" Nick asked. 

"Yes." 

"She looked bad." This came from Catherine. "How does she feel?" 

"Two broken ribs, bruises all over her arms and face, and a nasty cut that could be a concussion. She feels bad." 

"That's crap that the doctor released her. She shouldn't have been interrogated with a concussion." Warrick said. 

"Yeah I am surprised she didn't confess to something in her state." Catherine added. 

"Well right now I want you two," I said pointing to Warrick and Nick. "To go to the scene and begin to collect evidence that could have been overlooked. I want new pictures taken too. Mr. Dobbs said he would get me the casefile with his guys' pictures and evidence later. But I want you there now." 

"Got it." 

"We are out of here. And tell Sara we love her." 

"I will Nick." 

"What about me?" Catherine folded her arms in front of her. 

"I want you to photograph Sara's injuries for me." 

"She won't like it. She's pretty private about things like that." 

"I know but we need to show self defense. Then I want you to analyze her clothing. Look for the usual: DNA transfer, fibers, blood spatter, anything that shouldn't be there." 

"Okay. I'll go get my camera." 

"And I'll get Sara some coffee." By doing what I do best, work, I felt better already. I felt a little less helpless. I needed to know that Sara was capable of being saved. And it was looking much better. 

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tbc... 


	6. Meeting Ethan

Author Notes: Here is yet another chapter about the greatest show in the world! Reviews again are very welcomed and appreciated. Thank you to all those that reviewed the past chapters. Its nice to know that I am not the only one enjoying this. 

Chapter 6: Meeting Ethan 

As soon as I found the coffeepot I quickly poured two cups. I was overdue for a good cup of hot coffee myself. I stared at the hot black liquid with a million thoughts swimming around in my cup as I stared into its depths. 

"I got it." Catherine said as she entered the lounge. "Are you okay?" 

My response was forced and fake. "Fine. Would you like a cup?" 

"Not now. I'll get one later." 

"I meant to tell you thank you for doing this. I don't think I could take the pictures." I realize my comment came out of nowhere and tried to hide my embarrassment. 

"Gil..." She began. 

I waved a hand to stop her from continuing. "Just...thank you." 

"Sure. Are you sure she won't mind?" 

"She won't like it, but Sara is fully aware of the process." My voice was harsher than I intended. "I know it sounds like I don't care..." 

"Do you? I mean this wouldn't be the first time you disregarded her feelings because of a case." 

I stopped and looked at her. I knew she was only looking out for Sara's well being, but her words were harsh, even for me. 

"Catherine I am not disregarding her feelings, I just want to keep my objective to help her out of this mess." 

"I believe you I just wanted to check and I'll keep checking for Sara's sake. I know you Gil and sometimes you get blind-sided by science and forget that the case involves actual human beings with feelings. Remember that this isn't some victim you can be distant and objective with, this is Sara." 

"I know Cath. I know." I started towards the interrogation room again when she caught my arm. 

"Good." She smiled. 

The first thing that shook me from my thoughts of my conversation with Catherine was the sound of yelling from down the hall. As Catherine and I neared the interrogation room, we found out it was coming from inside. I started in a run, dropping the coffee. I burst through the door at full speed. 

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" I yelled and pushed the younger man against the wall away from Sara. She was lying on the floor, face down, and coughing horribly. Catherine rushed to Sara's side, giving me the time to question the jerk who put her there. 

"Even if you have a good explanation for what I just saw, that won't stop me from beating the shit out of you." 

"You didn't see anything. She fell out of her chair coughing when I started questioning her again. I was helping her up." 

"I know what I saw." 

"You know what you think you saw. I didn't touch her." He said cockily. 

"You must be Ethan Parks." Catherine called over to us. The disgust was evident in her voice. 

"Yes and this is my case. I over see what goes on." 

"Not anymore. Get out of my face! Now!" I threw him towards the door. He staggered a bit then gained his balance. 

"See you around Sare." He gave me a evil smile and walked out the door. 

After satisfied that he was gone and I was able to control myself again I went to Sara, who was on her back finally catching her breath. "How is she?" 

"Better." Catherine raised an eyebrow silently conveying that it shouldn't have happened in the first place. 

"Sara what happened?" I asked her. 

She looked at me with hatred in her eyes. "Nothing." 

"Sara you don't have to protect him. He hit you, didn't he?" 

"You can't prove it, so I don't want to go down that road. I am in a big enough mess as it is." 

"I can't prove it?! Sara I am a forensic scientist, I can and will find evidence." 

"Like what? I already have bruises on my stomach. You can't tell the difference between one or the other." Her anger too was apparent in her voice, then she calmed down. "Forget it, he will get what is coming to him." The tone of her voice held nothing but malice toward that man. That's the Sara I knew, the one that wouldn't take crap from anybody. Her eyes shifted to Catherine and a smile spread across her face. "Hey Catherine. You look good." 

"So do you." 

"Yeah right. Help me up would you?" 

"Sure." Catherine and I pulled Sara to her feet and sat her in a chair. "Is that better Sara?" 

"Much." 

"Okay Gris if you'll excuse us." 

I saw the panic flash in her eyes when Catherine asked me to step out. 

"Why?" Sara asked. 

"I want Catherine to photograph your injuries." 

"Oh." Was all she said then her face went serious masking her true feelings. 

"I'll be with Nick and Warrick at the scene. If you need me, call me." 

"Sure thing." Catherine began to load the camera. "And try to stay out of fights with the other children." 

I left the room with a smile on my face. It felt good to get out my frustration on something. First it was Ecklie and now Ethan Parks. It wasn't like me but they honestly deserved it. Anyone that would hurt someone so vulnerable deserved it. 

As I crawled into the Tahoe, again the sad truth hit me. I was telling the truth when I said that I couldn't handle seeing Sara so exposed. I was glad to leave. I had to get my mind off of Sara and back to the case. That I can handle and handle well. 

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tbc... 


	7. Collecting the Evidence

Author's Notes: Sorry the update took so long but I had technical difficulties. Anyway to make it up here is two chapters for the price of one. Nothing too G/S related in this chapter or the next but a little something in Chapter 9. Feel the power of the review and send one. 

Chapter 7: Collecting the Evidence 

I finally found Warrick's car outside the apartment complex, after thirty minutes of searching for the damn place, and it was supposed to only take ten minutes to get there. The directions a very young rookie CSI gave me where not very clear to say the least. I pulled in next to Warrick's Tahoe and was immediately assaulted by another very rambunctious CSI. 

"Mr. Grissom! Hi my name is Taylor Epps." The young man thrust his hand at me and I reluctantly took it. 

"Are you the help we are supposed to get?" 

"Yes sir! I am your man. I know the lab and can get everything processed in no time. Not to mention I can help you collect evidence. Yes sir, I am ready to work." 

"Then why aren't you inside?" 

"Your guys thought it would be best if I waited for you out front. It took you long enough. I called and they said you left about a half an hour ago." 

"Yeah well the directions weren't very precise." I said. 

"Let me see." Taylor Epps took the small piece of paper from my hand. "Yep that's Julie's handwriting. I don't blame you, I can't read her writing either." He offered me a big smile. "So you ready to go?" 

"Let me grab my stuff." 

"Oh yeah right. I forgot, the field kit." 

What in the world was the CSI: San Francisco department turning into? I knew that this was going to be a very long night. The last thing I needed was an inexperienced CSI to get in my way. Great, just great. 

"Shouldn't you get your field kit?" I ventured. 

"No I left it at the scene. Somewhere." 

At that comment I just couldn't resist. "When were you certified?" 

"Three months ago." 

"Oh." Was all I could get out. I began to make my way inside, but was stopped by a blood stain on the curb. 

"Did you get a sample and pictures of this?" 

"What?" 

"Never mind." I bent down and began to filter through my kit for my necessary tools. 

"Don't bother Gris. That was the first thing we got." Nick waltzed out from the door. "Already processed." 

"Good. Nice to know there was someone here that knew what he was doing." 

"I think you should come inside. Warrick and I are having a real dozy in there. The place is a mess." 

"Have we found out who the apartment belongs to?" My question was answered by Epps standing behind me. 

"Yes. A Miss Elizabeth Clark." 

"And why did he pick that apartment? Did he know her?" 

"That I don't know sir. But I can get someone on it." 

"Good. Bring her in for questioning. I want to speak to her." 

"You bet. You know I just wanted to say that it is a pleasure working with you Mr. Grissom. I mean, wow, I am really stoked." 

Stoked? What the...? "Call me Grissom and thank you. Let's get inside." 

The apartment number was 8B and on the second floor. The complex was nice and well kept. Now the apartment was a different story. As soon as I stepped in, I noticed that many things were broken and laying on the floor; this is definitely the site of the assault. The coffee table was broken and lay in large shards. A light flickered in a room down the hall. I made a note to go check it out. 

"What do we have thus far?" I asked. 

Warrick stood up from a crouched position behind the kitchen counter. "Well, a lot of blood. I have taken many swabs of blood from the kitchen alone." 

"Okay. Fan out. Warrick finish the kitchen, Nick I want you to check that glass for any fibers and blood. I want to know how it got broken." 

"Right." 

I continued. "Have we found were the attacker was shot?" 

"Yeah." Nick said. "According to the coroner that was on the scene, he was shot in the bedroom. The blood spatter on the wall confirms it." 

"I'll take the room then. Get to work." 

"What about me sir? I want to help." Epps rocked on his heels. 

"Right, I forgot." I saw Warrick and Nick grin out of the corner of my eye. "You can help me in the bedroom. Put gloves on and get your kit." 

"No offense sir but I know how to process a scene." His tone wasn't cocky or smug, but truthful. "I graduated top of my class." 

"Then I don't have to remind you not to leave your field kit unattended and not to lose it again." 

"Sorry. It won't happen again." Epps hung his head and I just walked off. 

I thought I heard Nick say to him, "don't worry man, he has nothing against you, its just..." 

"He is close to Sara." Epps finished. 

"Yes but that's not what I was going to say. I mean that's just the way Grissom is, so don't worry. Okay?" 

"Yeah. Have you seen my kit?" 

At that point I chose not to listen anymore. The bedroom was in much better shape than the living area. The comforter was the only thing askew. There was nothing else disturbed. The only real sign of struggle was the blood sprayed on the wall to my left. I quickly assessed the situation. I saw Sara fighting off her attacker, he dragged her to the bedroom with intent to...rape her, but she reached for her gun and shot him. But where was this mystery woman? How was she tied to Thomas McBride, the attacker? Why would she let him hurt Sara? There were a lot of questions that needed answered so I dressed my hands in latex. I was taking a sample from the wall when Epps joined me. 

I turned and saw his lips moving but no sound reached my quiet ears. What a wonderful time for one of my spells. I didn't even bother trying to read his lips. He kept shifting his head and not looking at me. 

"Look I need you to take several shots of this wall, then the comforter. After you are done, do a fiber lift of the comforter." 

I saw his lips move in a short 'okay' and decided to indulge in my curiosity about the flickering light. I hated this. I hated moving in the other direction when I was faced with my hearing problem. I hated how useless it made me feel. I am sure, by Epps's body language, that he was muttering another apology and was sorry I couldn't respond. Even if it would have been abrupt and with no real feeling. 

The light came from a small bathroom across the hall. The medicine cabinet was open so I picked up one of the bottles and read it. It was an antidepressant for Elizabeth Clark and it was almost empty. The refill date was still a month away though. So I concluded that Ms. Clark was eating the pills like candy. I placed the bottle back in the cabinet and closed the door. My reflection was split into many breaks across the glass. Something definitely happened in here as well. My face was tired looking and gaunt. I never thought I looked so rough. 

"Hey Gris?" 

I was thankful my hearing returned in time to hear Warrick's report. "Yeah." 

"I am done with the kitchen and Nick found blood on the coffee table. Where's your shadow?" He teased with a million dollar smile. 

"Funny. He is taking pictures of the bedroom. Where did they get that guy?" 

Warrick laughed. "I am sure you were quite the eager rookie too Gris." 

"Eager, yes, but I never misplaced my kit." I smiled. 

"What did you find?" 

"Well it looks like the owner was suffering from depression and abused the antidepressants." 

"I can't wait to see how she connects to this. Are you thinking it was Thomas McBride's girlfriend?" 

"Could be. We need to connect a lot of things together first though." 

"Like?" 

"Well, for instance, Sara's relationship with McBride. How did he know her? Then we can worry about the girl." 

"What about why Sara came here to begin with? And why did she bring her gun?" 

"Playing devil's advocate Warrick?" 

He smiled. "Well you taught me that. I just want Sara's pain to be over with. I have no doubt that she did what she had to do, but I am thinking what the courts will see." 

"Well I want to swab the mirror for blood." 

"Its been awhile since any of us have eaten. Hey what's that?" Warrick walked past me to the clothes hamper and removed a very bloody towel. 

"Interesting. According to Jeremy, when he found Sara she was unconscious and in the bedroom. And the attacker was dead." 

"That's what I was thinking. Who's blood is this then?" 

"Bag it." 

"How could they have missed such evidence?" 

"This isn't Las Vegas Warrick." 

"Yeah I noticed. I wonder what Sara saw in this place." 

I shrugged and went back to work. We combed the scene once more for anything else we could have missed. We were there for about three hours, running theories which didn't help much because of all the unanswered questions. We cleared the scene and went back to lab. With all the evidence we had the nightshift at headquarters was going to have a field day. 

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tbc... 


	8. Processing the Evidence

Chapter 8: Processing The Evidence 

Once we arrived at the lab I sent everyone their separate ways. "Nick I want you with Sara's gun. Fingerprint and go to ballistics to see what they got off the bullet dug out of McBride. Here use this for the fingerprinting." I gave him my famous red creeper. 

"Cool." 

"Warrick, I want you with the lab techs. Give them all of our collections and ask about the initial sweep of the crime scene. I want to know who was doing the collecting the first time around." 

"Okay. I'm gone." 

I turned to Epps. "Could you do me a favor?" 

"Yes sir!" 

"I said to call me Grissom." 

"Yes Grissom. What do you want?" 

"Find your supervisor and get the casefile for me. I really need to see it." 

"Okay Grissom." He paused. "Where will you be?" 

I sighed, Warrick was right this kid was becoming my second shadow. "With Catherine." 

"Oh I haven't meet her yet. I'll swing by later." 

I waited for him to leave but he just stood there. "Go." 

He snapped to attention. "Right." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Hey Cath what did you find?" I found her hunched over a pile of clothes talking to a thirty-something aged woman with curly hair. 

"Still processing the blood spatter. This is Katie Wittsfield. She confirmed that the blood is Sara's and McBride's only." 

I shook the woman's hand. I was relieved that she wasn't just trained and certified in her area of expertise like Epps. "Thank you." 

Her voice was soft but strong. "Well I want to help Sara as much as possible." 

"You were close?" 

"Yeah. She collected, I analyzed. She is a good person, I hated to find out she was mixed up in this. I haven't even seen her yet. How is she?" 

"Could be better." I responded. "They won't let you see her?" 

"No. We have to stay pretty far away from the human aspect of the case. I just process the evidence and even that is rechecked by my boss." 

"Oh. Well Catherine what do we know?" 

"The wounds on Sara are consistent with the marks of blood on the shirt. And the blood spatter also backs up her story. The button on her jeans was pulled off and look the shirt is torn, just like Jeremy said. He really went after her." 

"Could you excuse me." Katie stepped out of the room. 

"Must have been closer than she thought." I said to Catherine. 

"Yeah. I have the pictures of Sara's injuries being developed as we speak. They said it won't take long." 

"And how was she?" 

"Physically? Not good. I thought her arms and face looked bad but Grissom...she is a mess. I was surprised but it got to me. It wasn't like I was looking at Sara but a warped image of her. Hell it was hard for me to take the photos without crying." 

"And emotionally?" Somehow I already knew the answer. 

"Same tune different song. Sara is very private about these things. Every time I touched her she jumped. Even after I told her I was going to approach her she would jump when I touched her. She tried to immediately back away when I told her to unbutton her shirt. I think this case runs deeper than just this one incident." 

"I know. When I was talking to her earlier she said something about seeing the sympathy in our eyes because of what we would find out." 

"Well maybe its for the best. Whatever it is, maybe its time to get it off her chest." 

I let out a heavy sigh. 

"What did you find at the crime scene?" 

"A lot evidence that is being analyzed now. We have a lot of questions that need answering. I want to regroup in the lounge when your done." 

"Okay I am almost finished." 

"I'll round up the group." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Warrick was the last to arrive at the meeting. Nick was busy on his second donut and Catherine's head rested on the back of the sofa. I know what was going through her head. Sara. I think we all had our minds on Sara. 

"Sorry I am late." Warrick said. "But interviewing four CSI's on the scene is a daunting task." 

"Okay. Let's start." I slid up to the table slid the pictures of Sara back in the folder. Catherine was right. Sara was a mess. I decided to see her after the meeting was over. "Nick what did ballistics say?" 

He put down the donut. "The bullets definitely came from Sara's gun; they were a perfect match." 

"Bullets?" Catherine inquired. "I thought she shot him only once." 

"No. I found out it was three times in the chest. Her clip was missing three bullets." 

"And what about prints?" 

"That red creeper is awesome Gris, you should market it. Now I know why Sara loves it so much." 

"Well?" I asked getting quite impatient. 

"Well, her prints were all over the gun but I found a second set." 

"Really?" I was very wide awake now. "Who's?" 

"Not McBride's. I was thinking they were the woman's that owned the apartment. Her prints aren't in the database though." 

"We need to speak to her and get a warrant. Where is she?" 

Epps rushed into the meeting room. "Sorry I am late Grissom. Here is Sara's casefile and to answer your question, Ms. Clark is being brought in as soon as possible." 

"What is taking so long?" Warrick asked. 

"The warrant. Judge Parks has been swamped." 

"Parks? Is that Ethan Parks father?" I asked. 

"Yes sir. And my supervisor, Mr. Dobbs removed Ethan from his position on Sara's case because of what happened earlier." "What happened earlier?" Nick took sudden interest in the conversation. 

Before I could let Nick down easy Epps jumped at the chance to relay such important information. "We believe he hit Sara during questioning. Mr. Grissom and Mrs. Willows walked in on it." Epps walked over to Catherine and took her hand. "I am Taylor Epps by the way and it is nice to meet you." Catherine smiled at the man then threw a mocking smile at me. 

"Wait. Gris what the hell happened, did he hurt her?" 

"Nick she was okay." 

"Not the way he makes it sound." Nick threw his thumb in Epps' direction. 

"The important thing is that he is out of our way and Sara doesn't have to tolerate him anymore. Now back to the warrant. This doesn't have to do with the fact that his son was removed from the case, does it?" 

"It sure looks that way." Catherine snickered. 

"So we have to wait to talk to her for God knows how long." Warrick said. "Great." 

"Let's not get off track. What did you find Warrick?" 

"Not much from the CSIs that were dispatched to the scene. Probably nothing that you won't find in that file. Now the evidence was interesting. The blood from the coffee table and blood localized in the living area where most of the destruction occurred was Sara's." 

"So she was thrown into the coffee table and attacked there." 

"Yeah. The blood in the kitchen was McBride's and an unknown." 

"The woman's maybe?" 

"I am guessing, but again we need a warrant." 

"Well that is put off 'til later so I want you all to get rooms at the nearest hotel and get some rest." 

"What about Catherine's findings?" Nick took a sip of his cold coffee. 

"She just confirmed that the attack and the blood spatter is consistent with Sara's story." I answered quickly. The last thing I wanted was Warrick and Nick to find out about the pictures. First of all I didn't know how they would react. Secondly I didn't know how Sara would react to me having told them. 

A wave of relief washed over me when Nick just nodded and dropped the subject. Those photos were heart-wrenching especially since I knew it was Sara's body I was looking at. 

"Well get your rest and some real food. We all need the break." They all slowly got up. Their muscles seemed to protest every move. I felt the same way. The break would do them good. 

"You coming Gil?" Catherine stopped in the doorway. 

"I wanted to see Sara before I left." 

"Do you want me to stay with you?" 

"No. But leave a car with me so I can get to the hotel." 

"Okay. Don't stay here too long. None of us are of help if we are too tired to work." 

"I know. I won't be long." 

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tbc... 


	9. Sleep

Author's Notes: Here's the next chapter. Again tell me what you think and as always thanks to all those that review. Enjoy! 

Chapter 9: Sleep 

I made the cross between the lab to the police station to see Sara. A very pretty lady directed me in the right direction towards the holding cells. When I found her she was sleeping on the cot in her cell. Her hair hid her bruised eye and she was curled up into a tight ball. The one blanket they gave her had fallen on the gray floor. 

"She just fell asleep about fifteen minutes ago. Exhaustion finally won out." My eyes shifted from Sara's still form to another woman dressed in a blue uniform. 

"I thought I would go crazy with her pacing. But I guess she thought that was better than the nightmares." She continued. 

"Nightmares?" I don't know why I sounded so surprised. Sara did admit that she dreams about cases in which she is the victim. That was Sara for you; never at rest for a moment. Always working. 

"Yeah, this is as quiet as she's been all day. I'll need you to sign in Mr. Grissom." 

I dismissed my thoughts and took the clipboard to sign my name. "You know who I am." 

"Of course you are the hot shot from Vegas. Just kidding, I have nothing against you scientists. I am Debra Coleman." 

"I am glad that I haven't made another enemy." I smiled. 

"Well the others are just ignorant to what you guys really do." 

"You talk like you know." 

"Lets just say I have seen you at work and I am impressed. I can open the cell if you want to sit with her." 

"I wouldn't want to disturb her. She needs her rest. Sara isn't one that gives in easily to sleep." 

"She would sleep longer if she knew someone was with her." 

I hesitated. "Maybe for a little bit. I noticed her cover is on the floor and she looks cold." 

"I have a feeling that the cold she feels is on the inside." Debra said sadly. I noticed the compassion in her eyes. 

"Did you know Sara before she left?" 

"No, but I have seen the innocent suffer. And your friend is innocent." Debra unlocked the cell and pulled it open as quietly as the metal would allow. 

"Thank you." 

"No problem. Let me get you a chair." She returned with a metal chair in hand and put it beside the cot. "I will be at the end of the hallway when you're done." 

Debra again closed the cell door as softly as she could and disappeared down the hall. I picked up the navy colored wool blanket and laid it across Sara's shoulders. Then I cautiously sat down beside her. 

I got lost in her face. I pushed away the stray piece of hair that fell across her eye. The bruise was still a nasty color. I traced the bruise with my finger then traveled to the gash on her forehead. The cut was deep. I was thankful that the hospital cleaned it or I would be worrying about it getting infected. I then moved to her wrist that daringly poked out from under the blanket. The cuts from the handcuffs were still fresh and unattended. When I touched them, she shifted in pain. I thought I had waken her and immediately put my hands in my lap. 

She started to murmur unreadable slurs. I watched her eyes squint then release to normal. The wrinkles produced from the action left white marks where her bruise was. I was in pain for her. Every bump, bruise, cut, and broken bone was felt. My mind wondered to Catherine's pictures and I closed my eyes in pain. No matter how bad her arms and face looked, under her clothing was worse. 

She shifted again rolling onto her back. She was so beautiful, so very beautiful. Even dressed in those ugly gray clothes that hung off her body and the bruises she had, she was still amazing. I took her hand in mine; it was warm. The size difference was stunning. Her hands were so small compared to my own, just like the rest of her. 

I began to feel exhaustion kicking in and my head started to fall heavily onto the cot beside her. I dreamed of nothing, which was curious because usually I would be full of thoughts relating to the past day. But I didn't dream at all. It was the most peaceful sleep I have ever had. One thought did cross my mind as I went into my deep slumber though. I saw a flash of my conversation with the homeless woman from the case with the dead super model. 

"What do you do when you find what you are looking for?" I asked. 

"Sleep. The perfect sleep." 

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tbc... 


	10. Breaking the Tension

Author's Note: This chapter is a little longer than the others so enjoy. Here is the dialogue you wanted Geena, I rewrote it in just for you! It was kinda hard deciding what they should talk about because I don't want to give away the good parts just yet. To everyone else: I loved reading your reviews, thanks. 

Chapter 10: Breaking the Tension 

I jumped awake when Sara slipped her hand out of mine. It was an immediate hole and my sleep was interrupted by it. 

"Hey." She said. 

"Hello." I sat up and put my hands in my lap, suddenly feeling guilty and embarrassed by my actions. 

"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you; but you surprised me." 

Surprised? Was that a good thing? Was she happy to see me? "I should go." I said quickly and began to rise. 

"No!" She sat up and grabbed my wrist. "I...I like the company." 

I looked at her arm that snaked out of the blanket and grabbed my wrist. I saw the marks on her arm and wanted to touch them but she dropped my wrist before I could. 

"Sorry. You can leave if you want. I am sure you're busy." 

"No." Was all I could say. I ignored my chair and sat down beside her on the cot. She flinched as my thigh brushed her knee. 

"How do you feel?" 

"Better now that you're here." 

Did she just say that? I can't breathe. Maybe I am getting too close. I don't want her to get any ideas or do I? 

"Hey Grissom?" 

"Yes." 

"Why are you here?" 

It was a typical question and understandable question but I felt too exposed to say 'Because I needed to see you Sara'. I settled for the safe answer. "I was dropping off some things at the front." 

"Oh." She laid down and drew her knee away from mine. I knew I messed up. I should have told her the truth but...I just don't know if I am ready to take that leap. 

"I met Debra. She seems nice." 

"Yeah she's great I suppose. Are we friends Grissom?" 

"What?" I was afraid to hide my shock. What kind of question was that? "Yes of course Sara. I consider you a dear friend. Why?" 

"No reason." 

"Sara you don't ask a question like that for no reason." She ignored me and tucked her head into her shoulders. I wasn't going to get through to her while we were both conscious. It was so much easier to feel when I'm asleep. I changed the subject. "Ethan is off your case for hitting you." 

"Good. I hate that creep." 

"He deserves a lot more for what he did." I said angrily. 

"Wow, Gris calm down. The flow of emotion could be dangerous." She smiled. 

"Real funny Sara. But he hurt you, and countless others, he deserves to be thrown off the force and arrested." 

"Well bad guys finish first." She paused. "Let's talk about something else." 

"Fine. What do you eat in here?" 

"Oh my God. It can't be classified as food. I doubt its even on the food pyramid!" 

I chuckled. "That bad?" 

"That bad." 

Just when I was about to touch her face Debra opened the cell door. 

"Sorry you two but Sara its time for your checkup. Dan will be here in a minute he went to get his medical bag from his car." 

"Thanks Debra." Sara said. She saw the confusion on my face. "Dobbs got a doctor to check on my ribs and clean my wrists. Maybe he can give my some pain killers." She exclaimed sarcastically. 

"Well then I have to go." 

"All right. And Grissom thanks for being here while I slept. It helped with my dreams. I slept really well. I...well just thanks." 

"You're welcome Sara." 

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The Next Day 

The case was at a stand still. Without the warrant, we had no way to get Elizabeth Clark's DNA or prints. Everyone began to feel the strain of the case. Tension was mounting among us. We all looked like the dead bodies we encountered everyday. Our eyes were distant and reflected something yet nothing. None of us were eating as well as we should be; our appetites almost gone. And sleep seemed to be nonexistent for everyone too. The only good night's rest for me came when I was with Sara. We couldn't tear ourselves away from the case. We were all turning into Sara herself. 

"Hey Gil." Catherine sat down beside me, placing a cup of hot coffee in front of me. "Can I join you?" 

"Sure." I went back to reading over the casefile again. It wasn't helping but if I did nothing I would go crazy. 

"Joining you implies that there will be some form of interaction between us." 

"That rule doesn't apply to Grissom." I raised my head and saw Warrick chuckling as he came through the lounge door. 

"True." Catherine said. "So very true." 

I broke the light banter with a serious question that was on all of our minds. "Any word on the warrant?" 

"Sorry boss." Warrick took a seat next to Catherine. "Nothing." 

"Yo Gris!" Nick came in with a paper in hand. 

My heart skipped a beat. "Is that the warrant?" 

"No, sorry. Its a fax from Vegas." 

"What's does it say?" 

"I don't know. It is addressed to you and I didn't want to read it." 

He handed me the paper and I quickly looked it over. I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I read. 

"Well?" Catherine asked impatiently after a moments silence. 

"We are all suspended." I was calm and unrevealing what was going through my head. 

"What?!" They shouted together. 

"Suspended? For what?" Warrick was standing now. 

"We didn't get approval for accepting Sara's case and coming to San Francisco." 

"They can't do that can they?" Nick asked. 

"Yes they can Nick. Don't worry Ecklie wants me not you. I'll fix it." 

Catherine shifted in her seat. "We are not letting Ecklie do this Gil." The first name implied the importance of her comment. "We are responsible for coming here against orders the same as you. You did not force us." 

"If they get me for this they will drop the suspension from your records. This is the way it is Catherine. You know just as well as I do that this has to do with politics." 

"But what are we going to do?" Nick asked. "We can't drop the case and go home without Sara. This place is like the twilight zone. Hell the CSIs were certified off of cereal boxes, police officers abuse suspects and get away with it, evidence is overlooked at crime scenes,..." Nick stopped because we all busted into laughter. 

"Its not funny. We are in deep man." 

Warrick slapped him on the back. "The Twilight Zone?" He asked and again started to roll with laughter. 

Catherine was in tears and I couldn't help but cry out in laughter myself. Nick was right, though. San Francisco was a horrible comparison to what we are normally used to. The Twilight Zone was surprisingly fitting. 

Nick started to chuckle. "I mean come on." He raised his arms and mimicked Epps' excited demeanor. " 'Hey do you know where my field kit is?' 'Gee golly whiz Mr. Grissom that was so smart to think to get a sample of that blood!' 'Can you be my best friend in the whole wide world?'" 

We all laughed at Nick's surprisingly good acting. He had Taylor Epps down. 

"Okay that's enough." I said trying to calm down the group. 

Warrick teased me in response. "Come on Gris, you know its so true." 

I stood up. "Yes but we have work to do." My tone was serious but I am sure my eyes flashed with laughter. "We are guests, in case you have forgotten." 

"Sorry." Nick mumbled. 

Everyone went quiet. I knew our outburst had nothing to do with the oddness of the situation. We would normally never make fun at the expense of others. After all we didn't think we were better than the CSIs here, we just needed the break. It was the tension; the stress of the situation. The case had heavy bearing and now our careers are in jeopardy. Laughter was sometimes the best medicine. 

Catherine was the first to speak. "What are you going to do about Ecklie?" 

"I will think of something. Now I think we should all go see Sara." The group seemed to brighten up. "I don't want you to mention the progress of the case at all." 

"She will ask." Warrick said. 

"I know but she doesn't need to hear it. The stress is getting to us, I don't want it getting to her." 

"Okay." 

"Let's go." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Debra, the nice guard, wasn't there but we got an officer that felt sorry for our current situation enough to let us all in to see Sara. Nick, Catherine, and Warrick were ahead of me but I saw Sara pacing back and forth when we walked up. Her hands flitted at her side with anxiety and anticipation. She looked better rested though. She stopped pacing at the sound of the door sliding open. A big smile spread across her face that was unmistakably full of joy. Nick was the first to approach her and envelop her in a big hug. I forgot that Catherine and I were the only ones that have seen her before now. 

"Be careful Nicky." Catherine touched Nick's shoulder to get him to release Sara from his arms. "I am sure she minds being crushed to death." 

Nick let go and Catherine stepped up to Sara giving her a soft hug. "How you holding up?" 

"I am about to go crazy. They won't tell me anything." 

"And neither will we." Warrick bent down and hugged Sara next. As he pulled away he kissed the top of her forehead. "You don't look too bad girl." 

"Yeah right." 

"Well yeah you do look bad." Nick joked. 

"Thanks Nick. Love ya too." 

Nick blew her a kiss. I stepped into the small cell to make my presence known. "We thought you could use some company." 

"Thanks." She smiled at me in return. "So what's up?" 

"We can't tell you anything, its policy." Nick tried to sound serious. "You know that." 

"In that case then you aren't even allowed to see me." She joked back. 

"If anyone asks, we were never here. Deal?" 

"Deal." 

I was happy to see that her smile was still under all that heartache. Seeing her joke with Nick and Warrick made me feel rejuvenated. 

"So Sara, meet anyone in lock up?" Nick nudged her arm. 

"No but a man did ask if you were available." She answered with a raised eyebrow. 

We all shared a good laugh but were interrupted by the guard. 

"You have to leave. Visiting time is over." 

"But we just got here." Nick whined. 

"Look I said you have to go. I could get in trouble as it is for letting you see her." 

"We don't want trouble." I assured the guard. "Come on let's leave Sara to get some rest." 

"Okay boys you heard the man, let's go. Bye Sara." Catherine waved back to Sara who forced a smile. 

"Later babe." Warrick called. 

"Yeah love ya sis." Nick laughed at his own choice of words. He knew Sara would get him later for that remark. 

"Grissom?" 

Sara's words pulled me back to her. "Yeah." 

"They won't tell me anything. I can't do this much longer. I need to know about the case." 

"Sara if I do that all evidence will be tainted and dismissed in court. Trust me you'll be fine." 

"But I feel so useless." 

Her words were a cry for help and I wish I could do something, but my hands were tied. If I helped her, I would hurt her. I didn't want to do that. "Look we are waiting for a warrant to come through. After we get some answers, I will come to check on you. But you know I can't..." 

"I know." 

"Are you going to be okay? What did the doctor give you?" I asked. 

"Nothing put aspirin. I'll be fine." 

"Are you still in pain though?" 

"Forget about it." 

"Sara I asked if you are in pain. Are you?" 

"No." 

I knew she was lying. I saw it in her eyes before she looked away. 

"You better go." She said still staring at the floor. 

I nodded and left her standing alone in her cell. Though the break was nice, I knew I wasn't going to sleep good tonight. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

tbc... 


	11. Elizabeth Clark

Author's Notes: Saryn I counted your 'Continue's' and there were eighty of them. One 'continue' is nice so you can imagine how delighted I was to find eighty of them. I am glad I am not the only one obsessed with CSI! Send more reviews please! Well anyway, back to the issue at hand, the story! 

Chapter 11: Elizabeth Clark 

Back at the hotel I laid awake in my bed staring at the ceiling. I have been laying here for about five hours now. My thoughts wondered from Ecklie's threat to Sara's face we I left her all alone. The situation with Ecklie weighed heavily on my shoulders since I got the fax. The last thing I wanted to do was jeopardize the careers of three very talented CSIs. He knew that it would hurt me if he destroyed the lives of those closest to me. We were family, in a way. I cared about my CSIs more than I would care to admit. Right now I didn't know what I was going to do about Ecklie but I couldn't leave Sara to fend for herself. Sara. Sara Sidle. Warrick Brown. Nick Stokes. Catherine Willows. These people meant more to me than they knew. 

Sara's sad face drifted into my thoughts. When I looked into her eyes I was reminded of a past case when the wrong person was found guilty. He gave up hope and took his life. He couldn't bare to go to prison, it would have destroyed him. Sara was strong, but patience wasn't one of her strengths. My cell phone broke me from my thoughts. 

"Grissom." 

"Excuse me, Mr. Grissom its Jeremy Green. Did I wake you?" His voice sounded fresh like he got a good rest. 

"No." I thought bitterly. I was a bit jealous that everyone else could sleep but me. 

"Can't sleep?" He offered sounding concerned or maybe he just knew what it was like. I didn't know which and immediately sorry I was so bitter to begin with. 

"Yeah but that's nothing new for me. How can I help you?" I said calming my voice. 

"The warrant finally came through." 

My heart skipped a beat. "That's great news for a change." 

"They are picking her up now. She was trying to leave town. I thought you should be here." 

"I'll grab my team and we'll be there in a bit." 

"Alright. See you then." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

I looked through the glass at a woman about Sara's age. Catherine and Nick took a blood sample and her prints while she sat waiting for me. She was slim and fit, like she worked out. Her hair was a dark shade of red, almost looking black in some spots. She was very attractive. Her face was pale but in a healthy way. The only flaw was a busted lip and an old black eye that was slightly noticeable through her makeup. Her hands were busy tapping on the table as she waited to be questioned. 

"Mr. Grissom she is ready." 

I didn't say a word and followed Jeremy into the interrogation room. Ms. Clark looked at me with a desire to tell me everything, but she looked away when she saw that I could see all that in her eyes. Catherine and Nick gave a slight nod and exited to process the DNA and prints. 

"Ms. Clark this is Gil Grissom and he wants to ask you questions." Jeremy introduced me and stood by the door with a young officer in a blue uniform. 

I took a seat across from her and jumped right in. "Ms. Clark do you mind explaining what happened in your apartment?" 

"I don't know what you're talking about." Her voice was rough and raspy. 

"An officer was attacked and taken to your apartment with the intent of being raped. I want to know about your relationship to..." Before I could say Thomas McBride, Ms. Clark surprised me with a very confusing answer. 

"Sara and I were best friends." 

She must have saw the confusing look because she tried to quickly recover from her mistake. Her face became panicked. "I meant me and Thomas were best friends." 

I leaned forward. "No you said Sara. I didn't even tell you the officer's name. So how long have you known Sara?" 

She swallowed hard. "I meant Thomas. I don't know a Sara." 

"So you have never met Sara Sidle?" 

"No I haven't." 

I knew that kind of mistake wasn't a coincidence, Ms. Clark was lying. I had no proof she was lying so I decided to ask Sara about Elizabeth Clark later. It never crossed my mind that Sara knew the girl in addition to Thomas McBride. Or maybe Sara didn't, maybe Ms. Clark knew Sara. She could have been there at the time of the attack. And the plot thickens. 

"Tell me how you know Thomas then?" 

"Boyfriend." 

"Must be serious to live with each other." 

"Yeah you could say that. I have been with him for a year or so." 

"Thinking about marriage?" 

"He is dead and you can't marry a corpse Mr. Grissom." Her reply was short and held no compassion. 

"I meant before the incident." 

"I don't know we never talked about it." 

I motioned to her face. "What happened?" 

"I fell." She said with malice. 

"I bet Sara got in a few hits on you too, Ms. Clark. You were there weren't you? Tell me did you help hold Sara down for your boyfriend." My statement was bold and had absolutely no evidence to support it. But if I could confuse her she might slip up again. 

"What kind of sick person are you? I told you I never met a Sara and I wasn't there that night." 

Damn it didn't work. New plan. "Is that why you tried to skip town?" 

"I was taking a much needed vacation." 

"Do you suffer from depression Ms. Clark?" 

"No." 

"Then could you explain why we found antidepressants prescribed for you?" 

"Yes. That was after my mother died. Yes I was depressed but I got over it. I am fine now I assure you." 

"The bottle was almost gone and you still had a month before a refill." 

"Hey I was in a slump and I don't see how my mental state has anything to do with why I am here." 

"This is just part of the questioning." I stated. 

"Look am I under arrest?" 

"No we got your DNA and that's all we needed." 

"Good because I think you are done." 

"Just one more question." I said before she reached the door. 

"What?" 

"Did Thomas ever talk about Sara Sidle? Or mention what he planned to do?" 

She stared at me with contempt. "That's two questions Mr. Grissom." 

"Indulge me please." 

"No Thomas never mentioned that name or talk to me about anything but what he wanted to do. Unless you count the stereo system he wanted to put in his car." 

"Thank you." I wish I could read her eyes as clearly as I did when I first came in. Right now her eyes were clouded and unreadable. What was she hiding? She didn't seem too upset that her boyfriend was dead. She didn't even ask if Sara would be prosecuted for killing the man Ms. Clark supposedly loved. 

"Whatever." She mumbled then was gone. 

It didn't matter though, I just had to follow the evidence. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

tbc... 


	12. Reliving the Worst

Author's notes: I will warn you ahead of time, this chapter is a rough one. I am sorry if I depressed anyone today, hell I depress myself! Well here it is. Thanks for the reviews and tell me what you think so far. 

Chapter 12: Reliving the Worst 

Definition of Pain- [noun:]1. An unpleasant sensation arising from injury, disease, or emotional disorder. 2. Suffering or distress. 

"Grissom!" 

I turned and saw Catherine, Warrick and Nick coming towards me. 

"What are you deaf?" Warrick asked. "Where's the girl?" 

I could have screamed out in anger. Yes I am deaf Warrick! I was angry, hell I didn't even realize I was in one of my spells. I was beginning to worry if it was speeding up and Elizabeth Clark wasn't making my day any better. I shifted under their glare and calmed down. 

"We had to release her. She left an hour ago. Why?" 

"Blood matches. The unknown in the kitchen, on the towel you found, and on the mirror in the bathroom all matches Elizabeth Clark." 

I raised an eyebrow. "So she was there." 

Catherine jumped in. "What did she deny it?" 

"Yes." 

"What else did you find out. You don't sound like you already suspected she was there." Nick commented. 

"She mentioned Sara's name, like she knows her. And she didn't seem too grief stricken at the fact that her boyfriend was shot in her apartment. And now we have the evidence to prove she was there." 

"That is odd about her reaction to her boyfriend's death. Usually the victim's loved ones push for trial. How long have they been together?" 

"She said a year." 

"Well it looks like Thomas McBride had a fight with Clark before he went after Sara. That would explain the blood we found in the kitchen and her reaction to his death. How did she look? Any bruises?" 

"A black eye and busted lip, but that doesn't mean that our speculation is true. I was thinking that Ms. Clark was part of the attack against Sara. She could have held Sara down or lured her into one of McBride's traps. But again pure speculation." 

"True. We have no evidence that can go either way." Catherine said. 

"That's why I want to bring Sara in for questioning. Maybe she can remember what happened to clear up this confusion." 

"Good idea. Any perspective would be helpful right now. Then we know where to look for the evidence." Nick said. 

"Nick," I said. "How are her prints coming?" 

"I didn't bother running them against the ones found on the gun because we got her DNA. I can though." 

"If Clark's fingerprints are on Sara's gun that could mean that Clark was part of the attack against Sara. Get that done." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Catherine, Warrick, and myself waited in another interrogation room for Sara. When they led her in she looked horrible. I wasn't the only one that noticed either. Warrick and Catherine exchanged worried glances. Sara's attitude was a complete turn around from the last time we saw her. The guard uncuffed her and Sara closed her eyes at the pain. She swallowed hard then opened her eyes. She forced a smile but it didn't last long. I saw her face go flushed and pale white. 

"I think I am going to be sick." Sara started to sway in her chair. Catherine rushed over to her preventing her from falling on the floor. "I need..." 

Warrick acted quick enough to just get a tin trash can under her mouth, before she threw up. Catherine began to rub her back as Sara heaved into can. 

Catherine looked over to me and nodded. She motioned the word 'nerves' with her lips. I shook my head in agreement. I knew this had to be getting to Sara. Sara was one who had to be part of the action, not on the sidelines. And I bet the pain wasn't helping either. 

"Are you okay Sara?" Warrick pushed back her hair when the heaving stopped. 

She pulled away from his hand as it lingered on her black eye. "Fine. Great time for me to get sick, huh? Leave it to me to mess things up." 

Warrick took the can away from Sara and gave it to the officer to dispose of. 

"Its okay." Catherine said. 

"Thanks Catherine, but no its not." Sara's response was angry. I wondered if she were angry at us, the situation, or herself. She put her head down on the table trying to fight back another convulsion. 

"Sara," I started. "We can do this later if you feel sick." 

Her head shot up from the table at warp speed. "No." Sara's reply was again angry. "I want to get this over with, I want to go home Grissom." 

I nodded. "Okay. We need your perspective of the attack. We think we are missing something." 

"Like what?" Sara's answer was too quick like she was hiding something. 

"We don't know yet." I said with a raised eyebrow. "Okay lets start at why you came here with a your gun." 

Sara looked away at the wall. "I wanted to just visit. I left right after work, so I accidentally brought my gun." 

Something rang false in her statement but I ignored it and continued. "When did he attack you?" 

"I was outside getting in my car in some old neighborhood I used to live in. He came up and tapped on the glass. I didn't recognize him at first until it was too late." She stopped and turned to look at me. "He pulled me out of the car by my hair and threw me on the sidewalk." 

"We found blood on the sidewalk, was it yours?" 

"No I got to my feet and punched him in the face. His nose was bleeding pretty bad." 

I remembered the bruised knuckles I held when I first came to see her. "Then what?" 

"He wasn't too happy so he hit me in the stomach and pulled me inside. Once we got to the apartment he went crazy. I can't remember too much because it was so fast. I remember being thrown into a glass coffee table though. I was on the floor laying in the glass when he slammed my head into the floor." Sara unconsciously ran her fingers across the cut on her forehead. "I think he began to kick me or hit me with something, because I remember the pain in my back and sides. I was about to pass out when he grabbed my leg and dragged me into a bedroom. He picked me up and threw me on the bed, then he..." Sara's voice got caught in her throat. "He...uh...he...uh tore my...shirt I think. Then he...pulled at my pa...pants." Stubborn tears started to trickle down her face. I wanted to tell her to stop but she kept going. 

"I remember he started to...to undo his pants. I had to get him off me. I reached for my gun while he was distracted but with his weight on top of me, I couldn't get it. I had to get him off me though. So I...I told him to stttop." Her stuttering went on. "I bbegggan to to plead with him. I ttold him if he wwould let me up, I ccould make it more pleasurable for him." Sara stopped and closed her eyes holding back the tears. "He was all over me." She repeated again. 

I placed my hand on Sara's and Catherine knelt down beside her. 

"Sara you don't have to do this." Catherine found my words for me. 

She ignored her and looked straight into my eyes with hatred plaguing her features. "He got up off me and I shot him. Three times. Once in the shoulder and twice in the chest." She wiped away the remaining tears from her eyes and straightened her shoulders in determination. "I had no choice." 

I was in a daze on the other hand. Shocked into silence. I never felt so much pain without experiencing it myself. This pain was different, it wasn't mine. I couldn't control it, ignore it, or run from it. Her pain became my own pain once again. Before when I looked at the pictures of Sara's injuries I was able to put out the thought that it was Sara's body that was battered and beaten. Now she sat directly in front of me with pain all over her face. I could not ignore that. Pain is a horrible feeling to experience but I believe that seeing someone you care dearly about in pain, is much worse. I had to do...something. 

I finally spoke up. "Catherine, Warrick I want to be left alone with Sara." 

Catherine and Warrick exchanged looks, Sara just stared at me. So much pain, so much heartache, so much suffering, and I wasn't there to relieve that pain. 

"Sure." Catherine replied. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

tbc... 


	13. Moment Interrupted and Lost

Author's Notes: Well moving right along. This chapter is a little less depressing so I hope everyone likes it. I enjoyed all of the reviews, I didn't think I would get that much because of the nature of the topic but I did so thanks for your input. Keep sending more, thanks. 

Chapter 13: Moment Interrupted and Lost 

"I am okay Gris, its just that its...so fresh. I will be fine though. I know how to handle things like this." 

Her words suggested a past experience she wished not to speak of. I didn't blame her. I was the same way, I suppose. I am very private and closed off from the world, which I blame entirely on myself. I don't know if it is more of a gift or a curse. Anyway I didn't want to push her any further with the questions that burned through all other thoughts, so I let it go. 

"How do you feel?" 

"Fine." 

I scowled at her. "I will ask you again and this time give me an honest answer. How do you feel?" 

She looked down at her hands that laid on the table. "I feel horrible. I killed someone Grissom. I took someone's life." 

I knew that whole struggle to appear like this wasn't bothering her was a front. I knew her too well. Sara was always too compassionate to hurt someone. Even what he did to her, she still felt like she did something wrong. "Sara you had no choice but to kill him." I paused letting my words sink in. "Why are you so hard on yourself?" 

"Excuse me?" She seemed surprised I asked such a bold question. 

"Why are you so hard on yourself?" I repeated 

"Grissom I don't need a pep talk okay. Its not that easy." 

I silently gave up. It was so hard to reach her. We never seemed to good with words, they always came out wrong. The tone was off, the words were misplaced or left out, or the entire situation was wrong. 

"Sorry. I didn't want to sound so cold." She said after the silence became uncomfortable. 

"That's okay. We all have reasons for keeping secrets." I was hoping she didn't detect the knowledge of the subject in my voice. 

"Yeah by forgetting them they spare us additional pain." She said softly. 

"But we never really forget and they continue to provide punishment we think we deserve." I countered. 

"Yeah but more importantly they protect those we care about." She paused. "Family. Friends. All need protection from the pain you went through." She put her head down on the table exhausted from reliving the entire thing over again. 

I stood up in front of her and walked around the table. I was drawn to her for no reason other than she was Sara and she was needed me. I turned her chair to face me. The metal chair legs made a screeching sound on the cement floor that sent shivers up my spine. When she faced me I dropped to her eye level. I instinctively ran my fingers over her eyes. She closed them and leaned into my hand. I guided her head to my shoulder where I felt her tears wet my shirt. Sometimes we just needed to cry. I wanted to cry too but I had to be strong for Sara. She didn't need my troubles, not now or ever if it made her cry. I would much rather see her smile. 

"Mr. Grissom!" Taylor Epps barged through the door. "I was..." 

Sara sat up straight and wiped her eyes. She looked away from me when I tried to meet her eyes to find something that was left of our moment together. I didn't though and knew I lost her. Again. 

"What?" I stood up and went directly to Epps. 

"I..uh..uh..." 

"What? Well?" My tone was harsh and totally not in character. 

"Its okay Gris. Don't be so hard on him." This came from Sara. 

"No its not okay Sara." I turned back to Epps. "Well, I am waiting." 

"Sorry sir. I just wanted to be present for the questioning. I read the transcripts from the interrogation with Elizabeth Clark. I thought I could help." 

"We are done here and I doubt you could do anything to help." 

"Grissom its okay I want to answer his questions. What can I do for you Mr. Epps?" Sara politely asked. How could she do that? Switch gears so quickly. How? 

I stared at her in shock then back at Epps. He stepped away from me and over to Sara. He offered a hand across the table. 

"First of all I don't think we have been properly introduced. My name is Taylor Epps, CSI: Level One." 

"Sara Sidle, Level Three." 

"I have heard a lot about you Miss Sidle." 

"Call me Sara." She offered a small smile. "So I hope they were all good things." 

"Yes ma'am, I mean Miss Sidle, I mean Sara." Epps blushed slightly. 

"What do you want to ask me?" 

"Oh yeah. Well like I was saying I read the transcripts for the interrogation of Elizabeth Clark, the owner of the apartment you were taken too. Mr. Grissom forgot to page me." 

"I didn't forget to page you. You didn't need to be there." 

"Well I thought I should have been." He said smartly. "After all this is my case too." 

"In case you have forgotten I am in charge." I was insulted, but mostly angry that he was the reason I was standing by the wall and Sara was so far away. Epps started to shout something about not being treated respectfully and I yelled back that he needed to go back to school first. The shouting continued to raise in level and intensity until Sara shut us up. 

"Both of you quit fighting!" Sara shouted. "What the hell is wrong with you two? If anyone should be pissed and yelling it should be me! Now stop, I can't take your bickering." Sara's face was flushed with anger now. 

"Sorry Sara." Epps mumbled. 

That little shit! He apologized to her before me? Wait, I told myself, calm down. This is Sara we are talking about not some character from a Soap Opera. She didn't care who apologized first. I had to calm down. "Sorry we had no right." 

"Damn straight you had no right. Now can we hurry this up I want to go back to my cell." 

I could have swore that Sara wanted to add: 'to get away from you two'. 

"As I was saying." Epps started again. "I read the transcripts and found that Ms. Clark mentioned your name without Mr. Grissom saying you were the one involved. Does she know you?" 

Sara's attitude did another shift. Her body stiffened and she avoided my eyes. "No. Why would she mention me?" 

"We think she is lying. Do you remember someone else in the apartment with you?" 

"No." Her answer was too quick. "It happened fast but I would remember if someone else was there." 

"So you have never met Elizabeth Clark?" 

"I said no." Sara answered shortly. 

"Could she have held you down while her boyfriend climbed on top of you?" 

I winced. Instead of tricking Ms. Clark into something I tricked Epps. He was going to tell her what I said. He had no evidence surely he wouldn't...he would. First lesson of being a CSI, trust the evidence and never speculate. 

I watched Sara closely. Her features were a mixture of rage and disgust, almost the same response I got from Elizabeth Clark earlier. 

"No." 

"Why are you so sure?" 

"Because I was conscious the whole time." 

"Are you sure?" 

Sara sighed at his question. "Yes." 

"Why?" 

I was about to stop Epps' line of questioning and tell him that I needed to talk to him, but Sara replied to quickly. 

"Because I relive it every time I close my eyes. From the first swing to his blood being thrown on the bedroom wall." 

Epps wasn't ready for that response I could tell. He had a lot to learn before CSI: Level Three. If Debra, Sara's guard, hadn't told me about her having nightmares I would probably be shocked too though. Sometimes you just couldn't help but be shocked by human responses. 

"Epps I think you're done." I said trying to break the tension. "And I would like to speak to you later." 

"Yes sir." He stood. "Sara?" 

"Yes." 

"I am sorry I had no idea. I mean..." 

"Don't apologize. That's what we do. But in the future use speculation only to compete with coworkers. Deal?" 

"Deal. I am really sorry though." 

"Forget it. It was nice to meet you Taylor Epps. When you become a CSI: Level Three, call me." She tried to smile but it couldn't quite break through her tired visage. I marveled at the care in which she treated him. I felt horrible after I was so hard on him and Sara was so caring. 

"He will make a good CSI someday." Sara said as Epps left the room. 

"If he can make it." 

"I made it." 

"He is not you." 

"I was quite a pain myself when I started. I always got in trouble for getting overanxious to solve a case and too involved. I still do." 

"But you never forgot where you put your field kit." 

"What?" She asked. 

"Oh nothing." 

"Can I go back to my cell?" 

"If that's what you want." 

"Yes I still feel a little sick." 

"Do you need something?" 

"No I'll be fine." 

Her words sounded hollow but she didn't seem to care if I believed her or not. I think I lost her. What do I do now? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

tbc... 


	14. Quotes of a Broken Man

Author's Notes: Not much to say really except thanks for the reviews and please send more! After the last chapter I thought I should show how Grissom is being affected by Sara's situation. And here it is folks! 

Chapter 14: Quotes of a Broken Man 

I sat in the lobby of the hotel we were staying in sipping my third scotch. I left the station and lab as fast as I could. I had to get out of there. On the way out I muttered somewhat of an apology to Epps. I was too harsh on him for no reason other than the fact he had bad timing. He said he was sorry for not considering Sara's feelings and interrupting us. Us. What did he mean by that? There was no us, no anymore and there never will be. She still pushed me out. I pushed her out. I lost her friendship a long time ago when I doubted her relationship with Hank and got jealous. Now only a drunken Gil Grissom would make such deep admissions of the heart. Why? Hell I don't know. When I am sober, which is almost the whole time, I tended to be more...what's the word I am looking for? Oh well. Don't know, don't care. 

I wanted this to be over. I wanted to go home to my own house, to my bugs, to my butterfly collection, to my forensic magazines, to my crossword puzzles, to normal life. I wanted Sara too. I wanted things back the way things were. I wanted my hearing back. I want job security again. Right now my job was almost nonexistent. I received another fax from Ecklie claiming that because I didn't return to Vegas, that we were all officially suspended and should reconsider before drastic measures were taken. 

"Hey Gil." 

I turned to find Catherine standing behind me. "Hello Catherine." 

"We got the prints off the gun. They match Elizabeth Clark's. She was lying; she was there and she did have Sara's gun at some point." 

If I wasn't drunk I might have cared more. "Good news. Now all we need is the truth. But sometimes that is the hardest part." 

"Whatever happened to 'concentrate on what cannot lie, the evidence cannot lie'. I thought if you follow the evidence then you find truth." 

" 'The deepest sin against the human mind is to believe things without evidence. Science is simply common sense at its best--that is rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to the fallacy in logic.' Thomas Huxley." 

"Life throws us obstacles all the time Gil, that never bothered you before." 

" 'Obstacles are those frightful things that we see when we take our eyes off our goal.' Henry Ford." 

"You are the only person I know that can be wasted and still come up with that crap." 

"First of all I am not 'wasted' and secondly I didn't come up with them." 

"I suppose you have one for every occasion." 

" 'It is the path of least resistance that make rivers and men crooked.' Bj Palmer." 

"You wouldn't be talking about Ethan Parks are you?" 

"If the shoe fits..." 

"Well they are bringing in Clark. You should be there but not like this. I think maybe we should hold off until tomorrow after you sleep." 

" 'No one wants advice, only collaboration.' John Steinbeck. And I believe your collaboration is useful." I stood on wobbly legs and Catherine put her arm around my waist. She led me to my room and let me fall onto the bed. I was almost about to fall asleep when Catherine's words drifted to my ears. 

"Gil what happened when Warrick and I stepped out?" 

" 'Learning how to stand up is easy. Learning to stand up after you've fallen down, that is tough.' Dican." 

"And that means?" 

I saw that I was confusing her. "I have fallen down Catherine and it is tough to stand back up." 

"Was it something you said? To Sara?" 

" 'When something is true words are not necessary.' Author unknown." I rolled onto my stomach and let the pillow surround my head. 

"Damnit Grissom. Stop doing that. I am not in the mood for your riddles. It is driving my insane." 

" 'I don't suffer from insanity but enjoy every minute of it.' Edgar Allen Poe. Maybe you could take Poe's advice Catherine." 

"I am a trained investigator Gil, I can get rid of a body without evidence." She teased. 

" 'There is always a clue.' Gil Grissom." I mumbled into the pillow. 

"Gil, Sara isn't upset with you." She said reading my thoughts. 

"She should be." 

"Well I think she just needs time to get her feelings together. How was she feeling when you left? Still sick?" 

"Yeah." I paused considering my next thoughts and if they were too unprofessional. But I didn't care right now how it sounded. "I am worried about her. She won't tell me how she really feels." 

"That's her wall. And don't you dare ask me to break it down because I am still chiseling away your wall Gil Grissom." I am almost sure she shook her head. "Get some rest Gil. I'll see you at breakfast." 

"Goodnight Catherine." I mumbled before I pass out from exhaustion and the scotch. 

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tbc... 


	15. More Questions & Less Answers

Author's Notes: I decided to update with another chapter so I can torture you! Ha! Anyway read and find out. 

Chapter 15: More Questions & Less Answers 

Usually with evidence comes answers not more questions. Nick matched the prints on Sara's gun as Elizabeth Clark's. This is the only thing I remember from the night before. Well that and the fact that Sara was lost in herself, somewhere that I could not reach her. 

My head hurt a little, but not as much as I thought it would. Catherine was true to her word and took me to breakfast. 

"I am sorry about last night Catherine." I apologized. "I was just stressed with this case." 

"Do you always quote other people when you get drunk?" 

"I don't get drunk. Well except last night. Again I am sorry and thanks." 

"Gil, that's what friends are for, no questions asked. So do you feel better?" 

"Some. I just want to go home. I want all of us to go home." 

"Amen to that." She said. "Are you ready to go get some answers from Elizabeth Clark so we can get out of here?" 

"I was hoping you would ask." I shot her a smile. 

"Good because I can't wait to hold Lindsay again." 

I felt back on track back in control, back on the case. I was ready to solve this case. I was ready to face anything. Or so I thought. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Mr. Grissom we meet again." She smiled at me. "Except this time I am under arrest and you want more than my DNA. Correct?" 

"Correct. I want answers." I waited for her reaction but she kept cool and calm. "We place you at the crime scene and we have your prints on Sara Sidle's gun." She still showed no hint of shock at our findings. Almost like she knew we would find them. "Well?" 

"Answer the questions Ms. Clark." The officer said. 

"Fine. I was there but I didn't do anything wrong." 

"How did your fingerprints get on the weapon if you didn't do anything wrong?" 

"I don't know." 

I was starting to get angry. "Did you, in any way, take part in the attack upon Sara Sidle?" 

"No." 

"She said you did." Catherine jumped in. Probably because she saw how angry I was getting. 

I looked from Catherine to Elizabeth, and hoped that Elizabeth couldn't tell she was lying. 

"What?" Elizabeth asked. 

"Look something horrible happened in that apartment. Just tell us what. We can help you." Catherine's voice was tender and soft. I had to admit she was good with people. At this point even I would tell her anything she wanted to know. Well, almost. 

"Thomas McBride was gorgeous okay. He was smart, charismatic, sweet, just the guy you want to marry and be with the rest of your life. Any girl would want him. But he was not a very gentle person once you really got to know him." 

"Not gentle how?" Catherine continued. 

"He was rough." She shifted. "He hit me from time to time and forced sex. It didn't bother me at first so I dismissed it. He only struck me when he thought I deserved it." 

"How long was it going on?" 

"It started as you know a slap and then months of nothing. Then a month ago he got into trouble with his father. Let's just say he took out his frustration on me. I was hurt really bad." 

"Was there any indication that he treated past girlfriends like this?" 

"I don't know his entire history but yes there was at least one other girl that this happened to." 

"Do you know her?" 

Elizabeth looked down at her hands. "We were best friends actually." She started to cry. "She warned me about him. About what he was capable of, but I ignored her and told her to butt out of my life. I didn't realize how strong she was to leave him, until I tried. He came after me again and threatened to kill me if I left. I shouldn't have been so mean to her. She was my best friend." Elizabeth put her face in her hands and began to cry freely. 

"I am sure she forgives you." I heard Catherine say. 

"She shouldn't have." 

"Elizabeth. We need to talk to this other woman. We need her name. Do you think she would mind being brought in for some questions?" 

Her crying stopped and she sat straight up. "She would hate me forever if I gave you her name." 

"Its for the best, trust me. Elizabeth we need answers or a very good person could go to prison." 

"I shouldn't." 

"Please, Elizabeth. Just a name." 

I watched the spectacle with amazement. What was she hiding? 

"I want to help her, not hurt her." 

"And we want to help you." 

Elizabeth paused and bit her fingernails. Her eyes were glassy because of the crying. Then she spoke. 

"Sara Sidle." 

"What?" Was all I could say. I couldn't breathe. This whole time we were putting this case together and Sara was...oh my God. How did Sara expect us to help her if we she didn't give us the whole truth. I don't know why this hit me so hard, but it did. I felt like everything was falling apart. All I could do was look on in disbelief. 

"Are you sure we are talking about the same Sara Sidle?" Catherine asked. She sounded as stunned as myself. 

"Yes. She was the best friend I ever had." 

"Answer this carefully Elizabeth." Catherine folded her hands. "Did you witness the attack?" 

"I think I've said enough." 

"We have your prints on the gun. Please what happened?" 

"Maybe you should ask her. I don't want to cause anymore trouble." 

"By not telling us anything you aren't helping yourself or Sara. We need to now what happened?" 

"I should keep quiet and that's what I plan to do." Elizabeth sat back in her chair. We weren't going to get much more out of her. Unfortunately it was enough to stop my heart. 

"Grissom I think we need to talk to Sara." 

I heard her but couldn't move. 

"Grissom!" 

I snapped to attention. "You're right." 

We rose from our chairs in a synchronized sweep. Not a word passed between us as we made the trek to Sara. I never thought the walk to the police station could be so long. My hands were clammy and my breathing shallow. Again I asked myself that question, what do I do now? Before I could gather my thoughts we reached Sara's cell. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

tbc... 


	16. Lost Trust

Author's Notes: I am thrilled that you all enjoy my story so much. I know the anticipation is killing you all, but please bear with me. I thought that Grissom was too calm so time to bring out the anger! Ah yes, to Geena, I agree that speculation is an awful thing and you need evidence to draw a good conclusion. You're a very good CSI by the way!lol. But know this: I like baseball and curve balls. 

Chapter 16: Lost Trust 

I know I shouldn't have been so shocked that somehow Elizabeth Clark and Sara knew each other, after all Clark mentioned Sara's name when I interrogated her. But I think the fact that she lied to me is what was shocking. I never thought Sara would lie right to my face just to protect her privacy. 

Sara stood up when she saw us. No emotion played on her face. She had black circles under her eyes like she hadn't slept in days. It seemed that she was so badly drained that if she were to close her eyes and give in she might never wake up. Her dark hair was tied back in a ponytail and I noticed she was loosing weight too. I wondered if she still feels sick. Why was she doing this to herself? 

"Sara maybe you should sit down." Catherine was calm. 

"What's wrong?" 

Catherine looked at me to start but I couldn't give any indication; I was that upset with Sara. 

"Sara we talked to Elizabeth Clark." Sara sat down on the cot as if her knees gave way. "We know you two were friends. She told us." 

Sara's breathing became shallow as she searched for the right words. Probably another lie, I thought bitterly. 

"What did she say?" 

"Elizabeth already admitted that she was there." Catherine sat down beside her. "Is that why you really came to San Francisco? To help her?" 

Sara looked over to me then back to Catherine. "Yes I came to help her." 

"Sara be careful how you answer. Did you come with intent to kill Thomas?" 

"Of course not!" Sara jumped up. "Catherine I would never. I wasn't even supposed to see him. He showed up at the apartment when I was picking Beth up. I was going to take her away from him and that's it. I did not plan on murdering someone!" 

"It sure the hell looks that way." I said coldly. The iciness of my tone made even me shiver and I was sure if I let out a deep sigh you could see my breath. 

She faced me. "Look Grissom she is my friend I couldn't let him hurt her. That's what you do for friends, everything you can to protect them!" Her voice started to elevate as she neared the end of her sentence. 

"How do you expect _me_ to protect _you_ if you don't give me all the facts?! You lied to me Sara!" 

"Why does it matter?! She didn't do anything. I shot Thomas." 

"It matters because now you have motive Sara! You betrayed my trust! Even I don't know what you would do now!" 

Sara approached me. She blinked away the tears that were threatening her eyes. "Stop yelling at me Grissom! You don't know what its like to be treated like you're nothing; to be abused in every way imaginable by someone you trusted. You want to talk about trust, fine. Do you know how hard it is to trust anyone after something like that? I have worked damn hard to try, but forgive me if its still a little hard." 

I wanted to look away from her sad, angry eyes, but she held them. If she only knew how hard it was for myself to trust again. I have been hurt. I know what's it like to be on the receiving end of mistrust. Maybe not in the same sense or to the same magnitude, but I knew. I wanted to help, I needed to help, but could I? I can't if she doesn't trust me anymore. Why was it so hard to turn away from her? 

"Let's just calm down." Catherine said breaking the tension. "We all need to calm down." 

Warrick and Nick came running up to the cell with worried looks on their faces. 

"We heard yelling." Nick said out of breath. "What's goin' on?" 

"Sara here thinks that she can save the world again." I said finally gathering enough nerve to break her gaze. 

"Excuse me?" She now sounded more hurt than angry now. I silently kicked myself. Wrong words, wrong time. 

"What did you say to me?" She asked again. 

No turning back now. "You heard me. Why do you think you can save the world? This wasn't your problem Sara. Stop trying to save every person you meet." 

She sighed. I was ready for more shouting but she was calm. "I am sorry Grissom but the minute I do that I might as well stop living. I can't stop feeling or start accepting that bad things happen and there is nothing I can do about them. I can't be _you_." 

Those last words was like someone grabbed my heart and crushed it. That someone was Sara. Why was she doing this? Damn her! I wanted to scream, 'I do feel Sara, quit making me out to be the bad guy!' 

"Look my friend was in trouble and I couldn't ignore that." Sara said still staring at me. I thought I detected remorse in her voice. Good. She hurt me and she should feel sorry. 

Catherine interrupted. "Sara did Elizabeth shoot Thomas, is that why we found her prints on your gun? Did it get out of control when he got there?" 

"I promised I would protect her so I am not saying. I have to spare her the pain, she has been through enough because of me." 

What is she on a guilt trip or something? 

"Sara it isn't your fault that McBride abused your friend. It was never your fault." Warrick interrupted. 

She replied to Warrick but her eyes never left my face. "A true friend wouldn't have let her be with a man like that." 

"Then I am going home." I said it. I was not lying. I was going to leave. Leave this case, this state, this headache all behind. I was going to leave Sara behind and consider her as a lost cause, until she spoke. 

"Go Gris I don't want you to stay because of me. I wouldn't expect you to be my friend." Her eyes were hard once more. 

"This has nothing to do with friendship Sara, but your stubbornness." I shot back. 

"What do you want from me?!" She yelled getting in my face. 

"I want the truth Sara!" Nick touch my shoulder trying to calm me down as I yelled back in her face for a change. 

Catherine stepped up between us. "Before either one of you continue to say something you don't mean, I think we should take a break." 

"Good idea Cath." Nick put in. 

We ignored them. We just stared at one another with regret in our hearts and anger in our eyes. 

"You told me that the evidence would point to the truth." Her words were civil. "I did not come here to kill Thomas McBride so find the evidence. I came because Beth needed me. You didn't see her Grissom. She was hurt and she didn't know how to handle it." 

"And you did?" It came out more bitter than I intended. 

"Yes. She did not know how to deal with it. Grissom she was on antidepressants because of him." 

I refused to allow her to wallow in self-pity and despite my fury I spoke. "You can handle the pain because it happened before? Sara you don't deserve that; you don't need to punish yourself." 

"She didn't deserve it either." She countered. 

The room fell to a disturbing, uncomfortable silence. My stare never left Sara's face. It was like she was the only other person in the room. "I don't know what to do Sara." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

tbc... 


	17. Explanations

Author's Notes: I know I usually update sooner but yesterday and today was busy because of the holiday. Anyway like you care. I enjoyed everyone's reviews and please keep them coming. They mean a lot! 

Chapter 17: Explanations 

I honestly didn't know what to do. I no longer had the energy to argue or be angry. As soon as my anger slipped away I felt myself get a migraine. Sara always had that effect on me. Somehow she managed to know exactly how to get under my skin. Sometimes she didn't do it on purpose, I suppose I just let her get to me. I looked at Sara. I wonder if her head hurts. The black eye and cut has to hurt. She has to be in pain, right? You can't ignore pain. I can't ignore the awful feeling in the pit of my stomach or the pain in my chest. Her eyes were a mirror to my own feelings that I hide deep inside. She always was so readable. For Sara the eyes really are the windows to the soul. Maybe that's why she pushed all my buttons; she was everything I tried to ignore or suppress. How can we be so much alike yet different? 

I decided then and there that I had to give Sara the opportunity to set the record straight. I needed to know that everything wasn't a lie. I needed to know why she lied. I needed to reconsider my actions. It was all eating away at me. I already lost control of my emotions, now I needed to get back on track. It wasn't like me. I only had to be very careful how I was going to proceed. I didn't want to come across as cold or distant so my voice was low and gentle, but even I could hear the objectivity in my words. "Why does she mean so much to you Sara? Who is she?" 

She sighed. "Just a good friend. I met her when I moved here. I needed a place to stay and she needed a roommate. We split the rent, the food, the bills, everything. I guess we didn't really have much in common. She is opposite of me in every sense, but somehow we connected. She became the sister I never had. I was busy with a career for CSI: San Francisco and she was a bounce around waitress. I need to be in control, have plans, and realistic and she is spontaneous, bold, and strangely optimistic. That combination has gotten her in trouble before but nothing serious. Sometimes I was with her when she got in trouble. We did some of the dumbest things that I would never do again, but then I really had the time of my life. It was a nice break from being so serious and surrounded by death. I had to know that I was alive. She helped me with it. She was always there for me whenever I couldn't handle things. That's why I had to come help her. I had to be there for her. She needed me." 

I was shocked. I didn't expect to find out that Sara was living a double life. I never knew this side of Sara. I really had no idea that this girl was _that_ important to Sara. I was stunned but managed to croak out, "Did she call you?" 

"Yes, about a week ago at work. I haven't seen her for almost three years but I knew from the tone of her voice that something wasn't right. She told me about Thomas and I knew what he was doing to her so I came here as soon as I could. If I didn't help, Beth might be dead by now. I couldn't allow anything to happen to her. Its my fault this happened to her in the first place." 

"There is no way you can blame yourself for this; any of this. Just like I told you that you can't blame yourself for every case that goes unsolved." I said. 

"Well I do, everyday." She said sadly. 

"Look lets just take it one step at a time. Lets go back to the start. When you got there what happened?" 

Sara let out a heavy breath. "Thomas wasn't there. We packed as fast as possible and we were out at the car when he got back. I was loading the car when he hit me from behind. He must not have seen Beth or didn't care that she was there." 

"Where was your gun?" 

"My gun wasn't on me; I left it in the car under the seat." 

"Then how did Thomas get shot with your gun?" I knew where my questioning was going but I needed Sara to say it. 

"Beth found it. She came back when Thomas took me to the bedroom and shot him in the upper left side of his chest. At first when I was taken inside I just hoped Beth had the sense to call someone for help. But now I am glad that she found my gun. If she hadn't come back Grissom, Thomas would have killed and raped me before anyone could save me. I know it." 

I silently gave thanks to any and all heavenly powers that Clark came back. 

"It was enough to get him off of me, but not kill him. I took the gun and told her to leave before the police came." 

"Why? He clearly attacked you; it was self-defense right there." 

"Foul play. It became a two-to-one situation and judge Parks hated me as it was." She said. "Grissom I am sorry that I lied to you. You have to believe me when I say that you have no idea how much I regret it all. It should have never gone this far. I never meant to hurt anyone, especially you. I know you feel betrayed but...well I'm sorry. I had to try and protect her. All she did wrong was love the wrong guy." 

I honestly didn't expect an apology but I knew then that she lied for very good reasons. Fear, guilt, privacy, protection, and love. I shouldn't have gotten angry with her and now I felt sorry. 

"Sara," I began. "I should have known better than to think that you would lie for no good reason." 

"But I lied to you. Trust is everything, believe me I know and I messed up." 

She sat down on her cot and there followed a pause of uncomfortable silence. I didn't know what to say. The investigator in me was telling me to go on, to get this over with and to get Sara back on track for everyone's sake; more like for Sara's sake. I could only imagine with the amount of time on her hands, how Sara was convincing herself that she did something wrong. God why did I yell at her? Any other time I can keep myself under control. Damn it Gil! Just calm down you are no good to anyone losing your grip on the case. Okay no go. "What happened next Sara?" 

"Well, after Beth left I was going to call the police but he came after me again. He slammed me into the door. I hit my hip hard on the doorknob and I remember how much it hurt. After that I don't really remember how it happened but I took the gun, aimed, and shot him in the chest." Sara looked at the floor. "There was so much blood and he was so still. I should have shot him in the knee or gave him a warning shot, but I didn't I let my anger and fear get the best of me and I killed him." 

"Sara he gave you no choice. You said it; he would have killed you if you didn't kill him." My words were soft and kind. This was never my department but I had to try for Sara. 

"I know." She said. "But I wish it ended differently that's all." 

Catherine put a loving hand on Sara's arm and the movement made me realize for the first time that me and Sara weren't alone. 

"Is that all Sara?" Catherine asked. 

"Yes, from start to finish and its the truth." 

Catherine faced me. "The jury will definitely see that as murder and not self-defense. Even though that's not what happened." 

"Yeah Gris what are we going to do?" Warrick said beside me. 

I sighed then turned my gaze from Catherine to the group. "Well the only thing we can do. Work the case, follow the evidence, and it should be enough." 

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tbc... 


	18. All Played Out

Author's Notes: Well I am going to post two chapters today. Its time to bring out the evidence! Thanks for the reviews by the way. I enjoyed reading them. 

Chapter 18: All Played Out 

"This is what we got. Sara came to San Francisco to help her friend Beth." I started. 

"Okay we have established that the attack took place in the apartment." Catherine said starting with the evident. 

"And that Elizabeth was left out at the car when Sara was attacked." Nick put in. 

"Now where was Thomas before he got back?" I asked. 

"Clark said something about meeting his father before he went off the deep end." Warrick said. 

I took a sip of coffee. "Okay that's a start. Does anyone know who his father is?" A series of head shakes went around the table. "Check it out. Catherine you viewed the blood spatter on the wall. Play the attack out for us." 

"It was like this." Catherine grabbed a piece of paper and pen. "From left to right; the wall with the blood, the bed, and the door. Thomas is straddling Sara which puts him in an upright position; almost sitting on her. Blood spatter on the wall indicates the shot came from someone in a standing position. We all thought it came from Sara but now we know that is was Beth standing in the doorway. She came in, saw him, raised the gun and shot." 

"Okay." Warrick picked up from there. "Thomas stumbles back off Sara and falls to the floor. But the shot only stunned him and he lays there waiting to make his move." 

"Or gaining strength. As far as we know the attack was still a spontaneous thing, so let's play it that way." I interrupted. "But go on." 

"Okay, Sara gets up and takes the gun from Beth." 

"Beth is gone." Nick said getting into the simulation. "She runs. Sara on the other hand tries to fix her mess and attempts to call the police, but Thomas by then has gotten up and slams her into the door; striking her hip on the doorknob." 

"Okay let's be in Sara's shoes. She is in a lot of pain." I encouraged them. 

"Ready to pass out." Warrick added. 

"Right. But she stays conscious and fights with Thomas again for control over the gun. Sara finally shakes him off and shoots him twice in the chest. The result blood spatter on the left wall. Am I right Catherine?" Nick said. 

"Right on it Nicky. Okay at this point Sara couldn't possibly go on. She falls onto the floor." 

"No Jeremy Green says she was on the bed." I corrected Catherine. 

"But the bed is at least five maybe six feet away from the door where she was fighting with Thomas. She is in shock Gris, she will fall on the floor." 

"Let's talk to Jeremy to find out if he just forgot. Then we'll ask Sara if she remembers." 

"Right." 

"Moving on. We have established self-defense by Sara's bruising but how do we prove that Sara came here just to pick up her friend?" I asked them but they seemed perplexed. 

"We would have to show that Beth called Sara and was in immediate danger." 

"We need Beth's past medical records to show long term abuse and her phone records." 

"I hate to break up our brainstorming." Nick interrupted. "But something isn't making sense. Immediate danger doesn't imply a long drive from Vegas to San Francisco. Why didn't Beth call the police?" 

"Sara was a friend she could trust." Catherine explained. 

"Okay I'll buy that. But out at the car when Sara was attacked and Beth's protection was hindered, wouldn't _you_ call the police? Thomas was beating the crap out of Sara so Beth had a perfect opportunity to call for help." Nick's voice seemed a little bitter at the mention of how Sara was in danger and her "friend" was safe. 

"Maybe there wasn't a phone." Warrick said. 

"You don't remember the pay phone right outside the apartment?" 

"Oh yeah." Warrick faced me. "Gris there was a pay phone." 

"Which gets back to my point, why didn't she call someone? I mean her best friend is in danger, and she couldn't have possibly known that Sara brought her gun. Unless..." 

"She planned on it." I finished. 

"Do you really think that's what happened?" Catherine asked. 

"Well there are too many unanswered questions. Nick raised some good points. I want something conclusive though. Warrick go to that pay phone and dust it for prints." 

"Its going to be a real mess Gris." 

"I know but Clark's prints would be on the phone somewhere if she tried to call the police. I don't want to jump ahead and find out that she really did have no choice but to find Sara's gun." 

"I want the phone and medical records." Catherine said. 

"Okay. Nick go find out more on McBride's father. Abuse could be something that runs in the family. Anything like that could mean a stronger case of abuse, therefore a stronger case of self-defense." 

"Sure. What are you going to tell Sara?" 

"Yeah?" Warrick said. "Sara won't go for our theory Gris. You saw her in there. She was ready to keep quiet and take the rap for that girl." 

"That's why I am going to wait for the evidence before I talk to her. I am going to talk to Jeremy." 

"What if Beth did plan this? Do you realize what that would do to Sara?" Nick said. 

"Talk about your true test of friendship." Catherine said lowering her head. 

" 'An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body but an evil friend will wound your mind.' " 

Warrick raised an eyebrow. "Who said that?" 

"Buddha." 

"The wild beast was surely Thomas McBride but I do pray that Beth pulls through for Sara. I agree with Nick this would destroy Sara if she didn't." Catherine said. 

"I don't know how it will affect her." I said honestly. "Remember the hardest thing for Beth was survival. She might forget how to help Sara. After all its survival of the fittest." 

"And you don't think that Sara had to survive that jerk." Nick stared directly at me. I knew he was angry, he had every right to be. 

"I know Nick. No one wants Sara to get through this or take away the pain as much as I do." I paused watching their reactions. This was the first time I have ever voiced my feelings for Sara. They were stunned to say the least. "Its just that survival is a powerful thing." I added quickly. 

"More powerful than friendship?" 

"I don't know. I hope not Nick. I hope not." 

"Well either way this is a case like any other. The evidence cannot lie so we present it as it comes to us. If Elizabeth Clark is guilty then end of story." Warrick said. "Right Gris?" 

I sighed. "Yeah. Well let's wrap up those holes we found." 

They filed out I know with the weight of the world upon their shoulders. This case was turning more and more away from what we wanted. I picked up my feet and somehow managed to go to work myself. 

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tbc... 


	19. More Interruptions

Chapter 19: More Interruptions 

I was on my way to see Jeremy when a short middle-aged blond came running up to me. My first thought was something happened to Sara. I felt my heart jump to my throat. 

"Mr. Grissom?" She said panting. 

"Yes? Is there something wrong?" 

"No. But Mr. Dobbs needs to see you in his office." 

I breathed a sigh of relief. "I am kind of busy, can you tell him I'll see him after I get done?" 

"Sorry sir but he said its urgent. He must see you now. No exceptions. Come, I will show you to his office." 

I followed the woman to Dobbs' office. Still my thoughts were on Sara despite the woman's claims that nothing was wrong. Dobbs wasn't a man to invite me to his office without reason. Then to say that it is urgent, well let's just say my heart still wouldn't budge from its position in my throat. We entered the well lit office. 

"Here is Mr. Grissom, Dobbs." The woman said stepping aside to let me enter. 

"Thank you Elaine." Dobbs nodded curtly to the woman. "Close the door when you go out." 

I heard Dobbs but my eyes were settled on an older man sitting in front of Dobbs' desk. 

"Grissom," Dobbs said. "Have a seat." 

"I'd rather stand. I'm quite busy with my case and I would like to get going." 

"Suit yourself. Gil Grissom this is Judge Randal Parks." 

The man stood up and turned to face me. He had gray hair and a cleanly shaven face. He wore a nice business suit that was very expensive. His eyes were a dull blue-gray that suggested an almost evil presence. 

"Gil Grissom, its nice to meet you." Judge Parks held out his hand and I reluctantly took it. 

"What's this about?" I was to the point. I knew a judge of his caliber didn't just drop by to see me just for a proper introduction. 

Dobbs started to answer but Judge Parks waved a hand. "I like your directness Gil Grissom so I too will be frank. I have heard about your little outburst with the suspect Sara Sidle. I must say that it was highly inappropriate. Not to mention your excessive force that was used against my son when he was interrogating her. Slamming him up against a wall and threatening is not correct protocol." 

"Her hit her. And maybe you should talk to your son about protocol and excessive force. He seems to have trouble in that area." I said coldly. "As far as my discussion with Sara Sidle, it doesn't concern you. This is my case." 

"I don't know how things are run in Las Vegas but here I know everything and its always my business." He moved closer to me. "Now let's start again. I have found interesting things about you. A few faxes have come my way and I understand that you are in trouble back home." 

"First of all it was only one fax. And again that doesn't concern you." 

"Look I know how things work Mr. Grissom and I will throw you a bone. I know that whoever Conrad Ecklie is he doesn't have the authority to put you on suspension. So consider him one less headache. But before you thank me know that I do have that authority." 

"Is that a threat?" 

"Of course not Mr. Grissom." He got closer to my face. "That's illegal. What isn't illegal is reprimanding you for your actions." 

"Then put it in a memo because I have a case to solve." I turned on my heels and reached for the door. 

"We already have our prime suspect and the evidence isn't in her favor." He called after me catching my attention. "I would say your case is almost due to arrive at my scene." 

"I don't remember briefing you on my case." 

"That's not the point. Sara Sidle came here with the intent to kill Thomas McBride." His voice became enraged. "I don't like a murderer Mr. Grissom. They pay dearly in my court." 

"Then I will be sure to find the one truly responsible for his death." This time I got in his face. "And the last time I checked judges aren't criminalists so leave the interpretation of the evidence to those qualified." I backed away and opened the door. "Oh and Judge Parks, I'll keep you posted on the evidence you're so concerned about." I walked out the door and gently closed it behind me. I took deep breaths. I might have signed a death warrant for my career but at least I didn't have to worry about Ecklie. After that little scare Ecklie gave me, I made it a must to read up on supervisor limitations and regulations when I got back and file a formal complaint against him for what he said about Sara and his threats. That is if I had a job to go home to, I thought ruefully. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

I found Jeremy Green standing at the front desk going through a stack of papers. 

"Hey Mr. Grissom. How are you doing?" He said when he caught sight of me. 

"Good. I wanted to speak to you about Sara." 

"Sure I was just finishing up my case." He signed the last paper and handed it off. 

"How did it turn out?" I asked trying to make small talk. Despite my deep breathing I was still upset about my conversation with Judge Parks. 

"Well college freshman killed himself because of low test scores on his midterms. I thought maybe something more sinister but I guess I only wanted it to be that way. Most stress is what we put on ourselves, right?" 

"True." If he only knew. "At least it was solved." 

"Yeah but I bet the family doesn't feel that way." He paused deep in thought. "Enough about my case, how is yours?" 

"Right now we are chasing a few clues but mostly more questions. I was hoping you could help me." 

"Love to. I would ask you to come to my office but I don't have one." He joked. "How about over a cup of coffee? You look like you could you one." 

"Sounds good." 

We walked down the hallway and into the deserted lounge. He poured two cups of coffee and gave one to me. 

"So," Jeremy started. "How can I help you?" 

"I need to know where you found Sara?" 

"On the bed. Why?" 

My brows knitted in confusion. "We believe she would have fallen to the floor." 

"Oh. Well have you asked her?" 

"Not yet. I was hoping I wouldn't have to." I stared down at my coffee already dreading what I had to do. I would have to make Sara think back again to the attack. And that was the last thing I wanted to do." His words seemed to suggest stronger feelings for Sara than I thought were there. 

"You care about her don't you?" He asked but he didn't give me a chance to respond, which I am glad because I wouldn't know what to say. "Sara has that effect on people." He said. 

"What effect?" I asked trying to keep out my knowledge of the subject. 

"She makes you _feel_. I guess you don't know her like that." 

Oh yes I do, I said to myself. "How close are you and Sara really?" I just realized that their relationship was never clearly defined. 

"Mr. Grissom I won't beat around the bush. Sara and I were the best of friends. I mean we looked out for each other. I love her like my own sister if not much more. That's why it was so hard for me to find her." 

Images flashed in my head of what condition Sara was in. "I imagine she looked pretty beaten up when you found her." The words were almost hard to say. 

"No that's not what I mean. I was the first one who found out that Thomas McBride was hitting Sara back when they were dating." 

My curiosity won out as my ears picked up the vital information. "How? When?" 

"It was years ago. It was after work and I went back to get my coat I left in the locker room. I walked in on them. He was slamming her head into a locker." He stared at me but almost through me, as if seeing it play out in front of his eyes. 

"What happened?" 

"Anger. I lost it. I beat the crap out of him. Its the easiest of emotions you know. Yet it underlies so many others. I found out later that Sara was leaving him on her own terms and I just complicated things. He held a grudge against her because of me. Then when I found her again almost dead I felt responsible. I thought he finally came after her." 

"Hey Jeremy!" Epps walked into the lounge. "Oh sorry Mr. Grissom. I didn't mean to interrupt again but Dobbs needs to see Jeremy about his case." Jeremy downed his coffee and looked to me for approval. 

"We're done. And Jeremy?" 

"Yes?" 

"You shouldn't feel responsible. I will find the person to blame. I promise." I have never in my career made a promise to someone to find the one responsible. I knew sometimes the evidence wasn't enough or it wasn't the right evidence to bring a desired outcome. I have seen it happen before. But when I promised that someone would pay for what happened to Sara, it was mostly a promise to myself. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

tbc... 


	20. Pieces of the Puzzle

Chapter 20: Pieces of the Puzzle 

"Grissom!" Warrick shouted from down the hallway. "I've lift thirty two separate prints from the phone. None were a match to Elizabeth Clark's." 

"So she never tried to call the police. It could mean nothing or everything. Good work Warrick. Have you seen Catherine?" 

"Last time I saw her she was in the one of the layout rooms." 

"Thanks." 

"No problem." 

I wondered down the maze of hallways until finally catching sight of Catherine reading. 

"Got anything?" 

She sighed. "Well the phone records show us that Clark did call Sara at work seven days ago from her apartment. Their conversation lasted roughly three minutes. Here is the weird thing. Whoever it was, she called them right before the attack." 

"So who did she call?" 

"Don't know its unlisted. But I can find out." Her eyes lit up with excitement. 

"Do it." I said with conviction. "What about the medical files?" 

"Clark has a medical record two inches thick. She has been to the hospital five times in the last year. All for domestic abuse; broken bones, concussions, the usual. This certainly shows that she was in danger. I mean the guy just wouldn't let up on her." 

"Why didn't one of the doctors who examine her intervene?" 

"Don't know but we can surely ask." 

"What are their names, I'll send Warrick a copy and you two can split up." 

Catherine flipped through the file and scanned for the names. "That won't be necessary." 

"What? Why?" I leaned closer to get a better look. 

"There was only one doctor that saw Elizabeth Clark all five times." 

"Who?" 

"Dr. Justin Parks. Ethan Parks' brother and the doctor that released Sara into custody." 

"How does he tie to Clark? And I don't think that is a coincidence that he was both the doctor for the two women McBride abused." 

"I think we are looking at something more than a random attack. McBride might have been in with Parks." 

"Yes but why?" I asked. 

"Hey Gris!" Nick walked into the layout room with a file in his hand. "Never even guess what I got." 

"Its going to be hard to beat my findings Nicky." Catherine teased. "Dr. Justin Parks, the guy who released Sara to his brother, was the only one to see Elizabeth Clark for her injuries. I think we have something else going on than a simple attack. The question is how are they connected?" 

"Blood." Nick answered in his southern drawl. 

"They're related?" I asked stunned. 

"Yep. Brothers and the father is Judge Parks." 

"So we're looking at three brothers: Ethan Parks the police officer, Justin Parks the doctor, and Thomas McBride the abuser, and good old judge." 

"Well it is more than the last name that was different. I mean look the two older ones and the father, they were all successful and baby brother was a total loser." Catherine said. 

I was equally intrigued. "Why the different last name?" 

"The good Judge Parks disowned his son after he lost several thousands to playing in the stock market. It seemed that Thomas was a big risk taker. He did good at first then he lost it all and ruined the family name. He even stole from his father so he could get back in, but it never worked. He was out of work for six months. Some where along the lines he decided to take his mother's maiden name." 

"He went to see then, his father? About money?" 

"Yes. Clark was telling the truth. There was a heated argument between the two but that's all I got to find out before I was kicked off the judge's property." 

"Who gave you that information in the first place? I know the judge wasn't forth coming." Catherine snickered. 

"One of the security guards at the front gate." Nick smiled. "Real nice guy actually." 

"I'm sure." She said. "Is abuse a running thing in that family? Ethan and Thomas sure had a problem with keeping their hands to themselves. What about the father and other brother?" 

"I really don't have anything conclusive on them because I can't get a hold of the families medical records but it doesn't matter. The D.A. can do that. The important thing is that we have a game of foul play and Sara wasn't a part of it." 

"Nick is right. Catherine I want you to give that phone number a name. I want to know who Clark called. I have a suspect to bring in. Join me when you get the phone records." 

"You bet I will. Who's the suspect?" I didn't answer, I was too deep in thought. I knew exactly what happened that night and had to run with it. 

I did hear before I left that Nick said, "He's solved the case again without us." 

"Yeah. Well its hard to keep in step with Grissom, so I quit trying a long time ago. Help me with this number would you." I had to smile. 

I got Jeremy to bring in my suspect and within minutes the arrest was made. I made my way down the hall to the interrogation room. I was furious but I used my anger to fuel my intelligence like I have so many times before. I entered the room with a smile on my face and the evidence in my hand. I guessed that soon Catherine would be joining me and the last piece of the puzzle would be delivered but I had enough for now. Right now I just wanted to talk. Besides I already had a very good idea who Miss Clark called but the evidence has the impact of scaring the suspect. I love the evidence. 

"How are you doing Miss Clark?" I said warmly taking a seat from across from her. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

tbc... 


	21. The Way the Cookie Crumbles

Author's Notes: Nothing new, I am studying my butt off with finals so didn't have time to post before now. Sorry. Don't know when the next will come either. Well here is the chapter 21. Please send me some reviews, I always have time to read a review! Besides it makes me feel like I can actually pass my Chem final. 

Chapter 21: The Way the Cookie Crumbles 

"Don't you have other people to badger?" Elizabeth Clark hissed. She was clad in a nice blouse and tight jean pants. Her hair was a mass of curls this time like she managed to get her hair done. Funny how since her abusive boyfriend was gone she had the time to make herself up. 

"Actually I like badgering you." I smiled again. 

"Do you mind telling me why I am here?" She asked and she didn't try to hide her contempt. 

"Just thought we could talk about how close you and Sara are." 

"I am sure you care." Her words were bitter and sarcastic. 

"But I do. I would just like to understand how you define friendship so I can fully understand." 

"This is getting really old. I hate riddles Mr. Grissom and I hate you." 

"Well I feel the same way about you so tell me what really happened and we won't have to see each other again." I leaned over the table. "Not that your word means anything to me, seeing as I don't trust you in the least." 

"What's your problem Mr. Grissom?" Her voice got elevated with disgust. Good, I thought very good. 

"Your my problem. I know what you did and I've got you." I said calmly. 

She forced herself back into the chair and looked at me with pure hatred in her eyes. I started to wonder if it was just me she hated or the entire male population. No time for that though. 

"You can't have me on anything if I didn't do anything wrong." 

"Would you really let Sara go to prison for you? Is that what you call friendship?" 

"What are you talking about? Sara isn't in any trouble. I know how it works Mr. Grissom. I may be a simple waitress without a college education but I know that no court will convict Sara. It has self-defense written all over it. Thomas was a jerk and with his history of assault charges, she'll be off before the end of the month." 

"Nice fantasy, if the world really worked that way. What doesn't exactly fit into that theory is the fact that the judge has it in for Sara." 

She took in a sharp breath. "What judge? Why?" 

"Judge Randal Parks." I saw her release the breath she was holding. "Yes. Thomas's father. Sara killed his son so you can imagine his disgust. Granted he disowned his son and he was a loser, but a son is still a son." 

"He can't do that besides like you said if his 'son' wasn't such a loser then he wouldn't be dead. Sara had every right to kill him." 

"I know that, you know that, but he doesn't seem to care. And that really messes up your plan. That's what it was wasn't it, a plan. To kill your boyfriend and claim self-defense. Of course you yourself didn't have a gun so you called Sara. After all if you went and bought a gun that would imply premeditated murder. You shot him but didn't have the nerve to do it the whole way, so again Sara had to suffer. She had to pull you out of your mess and clean you off. Is this ringing any bells?" She didn't say a word so I continued. "Then let me keep going. You called her, right after shift coincidentally, when she would still have her gun and would come to help you. I can't believe that you would use her that way. You preyed on her compassion. How can you call yourself a friend?" I didn't plan on my last comments to materialize on my lips but I could no longer disguise my contempt. 

"Nice fantasy yourself Mr. Grissom." She said trying to stay calm, but I could see the storm of fear ranging in her eyes. 

"Oh mine isn't such a fantasy. I have all the proof I need to convict you for murder and an accomplice to Sara Sidle's attack." 

"What proof?" 

"Well your phone records for one. That call to Sara was interesting but even more so was the call to..." Catherine walked in just in time. Good now I had the evidence. 

"Sorry did I interrupt?" She asked coolly. 

"I was just about to get to your part." 

"Well let me step in then." 

"By all means." I pulled the chair beside me and Catherine took a seat. 

"Miss Clark I have here your phone records. It shows that you called Judge Parks' house right before Sara's attack. You talked to Thomas I believe and that's when you told him that Sara was back in town and at the apartment, and you knew he would be there in a minute. You knew how much he hated Sara. After all she was stronger than him by leaving him, and he hated her for it." 

Clark tensed up but relaxed. "I admit that I called Thomas at his father's house but that was so I could make sure he was still there and that Sara and I were safe to leave. I think you just filled in the blanks to fit your theory.." 

"Judging by what you just said you didn't know about the phone tap." 

Clark tensed again in her chair and even I did a double take. I wasn't planning on that at all. Nice surprises come in small packages. 

"What phone tap?" She asked. 

"The one put on his phone by the FBI because of his dirty dealings and misuse of taxpayers money. Well we got a hold of those tapes and we got your entire conversation. Would you like to hear it? Because I have it with me." Catherine started to fish out a small tape out of an evidence bag. 

I smiled. Catherine really did a good job. 

"I want a lawyer." Clark demanded through gritted teeth. 

We looked at each other then back at Clark. "Of course." I said rising from my chair. "We have another appointment to attend anyway. I just want to know why you would hurt the one person that was there to help you. Sara offered you the help no one gave her. Why did you do that to her?" 

"I don't owe you any explanation." 

"No you don't but I just want to know what to tell Sara when I have to explain that her best friend set her up." 

She rose from her chair and leaned over the table in my face. "You want to know why, I am sure you have seen my medical files; that's why. You have no idea what I had to live with." 

"No I didn't but you could have just left. Sara was there to help you do that." I spit back in her face. 

"And live in fear? You think Sara was peachy keen after she left him? She lived in fear Mr. Grissom. He would hunt me down too. It was only a matter of time before he found Sara." 

"You don't know that. You were suppose to be her friend and you fed her to the wolves." The contempt in my voice no longer was disguised, and I didn't care. 

"It wasn't suppose to be this way. I never wanted to hurt Sara." 

"Well you did." I said coldly. "You have no idea how you hurt her. Officer arrest Miss Clark." 

The officer came up behind Clark and pulled her into the cuffs. 

"How is Sara?" Clark asked, tears welling up in her eyes. 

"Save your tears for the jury Miss Clark. And don't worry about Sara, I think she has some very good friends, true friends, that can help her through your betrayal." 

Clark was pulled away and out the door. 

"And Miss Clark?" Catherine called after her. 

"What?!" The tears running down her face. 

"At trial avoid claiming self-defense, its not a black and white as you might think, especially in your case. Better go with justifiable homicide and hope for a sympathetic jury." She turned to me after Clark was lead away. "You okay?" 

"Yeah." 

"How did you know it was Clark?" 

"No attempt to help Sara by calling someone, conveniently called her after shift, conveniently found her gun, and I knew she called Thomas." 

"How?" 

"I put myself in her shoes. She needed him to die so he had to be there. She just couldn't do it." 

"How long have you known?" 

"Right after you told me she called someone before Sara's attack. I figured that if she was innocent she would be packing not calling someone else, unless it was a setup." 

"You knew about the phone tap too?" 

"No. That was just icing on the cake." My eyes dropped to the floor. 

"You're sure you're okay?" 

I waited and consider my words. "I can't believe that I have to tell Sara what she did." 

"We can tell her together after we finish up, if you like?" 

"Thanks Cath but I need to tell her." I release the breath I didn't know I was holding. "Let's go. I think Nick and Warrick have brought in the our second accomplice in Sara's attack." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

tbc... 


	22. The Hippocratic Oath

Author's Notes: Well I aced my Math final so naturally I am feeling pretty good. Pretty darn GOOD! I decided to treat myself to updating my story. I have slipped on to read some good fics but only had time to write quick reviews before I had to go back to the wonderful world of chemistry and biology. But by this time Monday, I am completely finished with those mind boggling classes (until January anyway). That means more fun for me! hehe! 

Chapter 22: The Hippocratic Oath 

"Hey boss." Nick said as he walked over with Warrick to meet us. "Justin Parks is in interrogation room 3B. How did it go with Clark? Did you get a confession?" 

"Didn't need one. Catherine nailed her to the wall with evidence." 

"You don't seem to happy." Nick said. "We got her and Sara can come home right?" 

"Let's tie up our loose end first." I gestured to the door. "Nick your with me." 

We entered the room and it was identical in every way to that of the one I just came from. Justin Parks sat with a jumpy leg in the one chair. Nick took the other chair and I stood behind him against the wall. 

"Mr. Parks," Nick started. 

"Its Dr. Parks. I earned it Mr. Stokes." 

"My mistake Dr. Parks." Nick gave him a big smile and continued. "Do you know Elizabeth Clark?" 

"I might." He was playing 'the give them just enough' card and Nick was growing impatient. 

"She is a patient of yours that you examined not a month ago." 

"I examine a lot of people Mr. Stokes." 

"I am sure you do, but you see Miss Clark was seen by you several times for injuries consistent with domestic violence." 

He looked at me then back to Nick. "What's her name again?" 

Nick just kept smiling. He was never one to get angry but I had a feeling it wouldn't last too long. "Her name is Elizabeth Clark." 

"Yes I know a patient by your description. So what?" 

"Why didn't you report possible abuse?" 

"I believe she said she wasn't going to press charges against the man that hit her, so I saw it as a waste of time and money to report it." 

"That's not standard procedure." 

"No I guess its not. Look if this is what this is about, I take full responsibility. I was only looking out for the hospital." 

"Don't you mean your baby brother?" 

"No I don't mean such a thing. Look I might have known that Beth was my brother's girlfriend but that had no impact on my decision to not report abuse. If you must know Beth requested me as her doctor." 

"I'm sure." Nick's eyes voice was suddenly no longer warm and welcoming but full of bitterness. "Where were you on the night of November 4, around 11:00 p.m.?" 

"Home." Justin said with a heavy sigh. 

"Anyone to validate your presence?" 

"No. I left my father's around 10:30 and went home to my golden retriever. Would you like to question him?" He said smartly. 

Nick brushed off the comment and went on. I knew he had something. "So you know about the phone call that your brother got around 10:15 from Elizabeth Clark." 

"Yes I remember. In fact I think I answered the phone but I have no idea what it was about." 

"That's okay, I won't hold it against you. Have you ever met Sara Sidle other than the time you treated her for injuries because of her attack by Thomas McBride." 

"No." He answered quickly. 

"Did you know that leather is surprisingly a good surface for getting prints off of?" 

I smiled at Nick's statement. 'Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the evidence.' I said to myself. 

"No Mr. Stokes I did not know that. Is there an end to your questions or meaning for that matter?" 

"Let me get to that. Well like I was saying leather, especially treated leather like the jacket Sara Sidle was wearing, is a very easy surface to print. Could you explain how we found your fingerprints on Sara Sidle's leather jacket that she was wearing the night of her attack?" 

Justin's attitude did a turn around from cool to panicked. I really love that aspect of interrogation. 

"I don't know. She was probably wearing it when they brought her in." He tried to keep his voice even. 

"No." Nick glanced back to me. "No the jacket was removed along with her torn shirt because of the blood spatter evidence on it. You see we need evidence to stay fresh and untouched so we don't get such mix-ups. If something were to happen in the ambulance that involved more blood then the shirt and jacket would be useless. You understand?" 

"Yes." Justin was getting very annoyed by Nick's baby steps. Again I just smiled. 

"Now when we first obtained Sara's clothing, including her jacket, we tested the blood spatter but had no reason to test for prints. I mean we already had the guy that's prints were all over her. That was until we found out that Sara was moved from the floor to the bed. By you." 

The young doctor shifted in his seat. Gotcha! 

"Look we place you at the scene and as far as we can tell you didn't do anything but move Sara. We just want to know why?" 

He considered his words. "Fine. I was there and yes I moved her. I overheard about what Thomas was going to do, so I got worried and I drove out to his place. When I got there my brother was dead and she was unconscious. I moved her to the bed to get a better view of her injuries and tried to help her." 

"You helped her by leaving her there badly beaten and unconscious until the police arrived almost an hour later?" Nick's anger was no longer hidden. He spat the words with fury. 

"I was scared and angry. She killed my brother Mr. Stokes." 

"Aren't you suppose to obey some oath to do no harm?" Nick hissed. 

"Yes he is." It was the first time I spoke since it started. The first time I needed to, Nick was doing such a good job without me. 

Nick smiled back at me. "That's what I thought." 

"You can't get me for anything? Anyone would have panicked or been scared enough to leave her. What if it was your brother?" 

"Sorry but I can't sympathize with you. No. My sister was the one that got the shit beat out of her." 

"Easy Nick." I warned. The last thing we need was a complaint against us. 

"Sorry. But for your information we have plenty on you. You see your first mistake was that you ignored Elizabeth's injuries for the sake of your brother, the second was that you allowed Sara's attack to take place, and lastly you abandoned your duty again as a doctor when you left her to die. So yes Dr. Justin Parks we have you for accessory to Sara Sidle's attack." 

Justin's breathing began heavy. "I didn't know what he was going to do." 

I decided to take that opportunity to really tear him down. "We have the conversation of that night, so we know you were well aware of what your brother planned to do." 

The room was quiet. 

"Do you know who my father is?" He asked cockily breaking the silence. "This won't go far in court." 

I was going to say something but Nick beat me to it. 

"Maybe not. You might get off with community service but your license will be taken by the San Francisco Hospital System and you will not be able to practice in this state or any other for that matter. Officer would you arrest _Mr._ Parks?" 

Nick stood up and I joined him at the door as the officer carried Justin away. "Good work Nicky." 

"Well someone had to pay for the neglect of Sara's friend and of course Sara herself. This might have never happened if he would have helped Elizabeth Clark a long time ago." 

"Yeah. I am glad you went back to the jacket." 

"Well after you told me that Sara was moved, I knew there would be prints. Thank God Sara was wearing that jacket." 

"Well good work." 

"So I guess it's over huh?" 

"Yeah Nick, it's over." I patted him on the shoulder. It was over as far as the case was concerned but I still had to break the news to Sara. And that was just the beginning. 

"Hey Grissom." Warrick came with two cups of coffee. "Here Nick." He said handing one to him and one to me. 

"Thanks." We said. 

"Catherine brought Sara from her cell to one of the interrogation rooms. She is waiting on you to tell her what's going on." 

"Okay." I said. "You and Nick start packing the car. I want to get out of her as soon as possible." 

"You're not the only one." Nick said smiling. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

tbc... 


	23. It's Over?

Author's Notes: I decided to post another one. Hope you like it, and please send me some reviews! Thanks! 

Chapter 23: It's Over? 

"Hey Cath, Sara." I said walking into the room. "How are you feeling Sara?" 

"Okay I guess. What's this about? Did you get something?" The black clips under her eyes made this all twice as bad. 

"Catherine could you excuse us?" 

"Sure." Catherine gave Sara a quick squeeze of the hand she was holding. "Everything is okay Sara." I looked at Catherine. There was something in her eyes that wasn't there before. I began to wonder how Catherine was feeling? Does she hate to think if this happened to Sara it can happen to Lindsay? How was she affected by this? They aren't the best of friends but respect was always there. Now as I watch Catherine squeeze Sara's hand, I begin to feel that Catherine really cares about Sara. Its more than respect; its friendship. 

"Call me if you need me. I'll be with the boys." She said then stepped out. 

I stood for a long time then Sara spoke. "What's wrong Grissom? And don't sugar coat it, I'm a big girl." 

"Sara," I took in a deep breath and took the seat across from her. I really treaded this part. I just couldn't bring myself to speak. 

"Grissom what's wrong? Tell me please." 

I looked at her pleading eyes and it all came out in a rush of words. "Sara we can take you home. It's over." 

She didn't move. She just stared at me without any expression on her beautiful face. 

"Then why are you so unhappy?" 

It wasn't shock that overtook me, it was dread. I knew this is the way it should be. I knew Sara was not going to accept this without a reason. Here we go. "We found evidence that Beth setup your attack." 

Her brows knitted in confusion but she was surprisingly calm. Her voice barely audible. "What?" 

"She used you to kill Thomas and tried to make it look like self-defense." I reached across the table and touched her hand. "Sara I am so sorry. I didn't want it to end this way either." 

"Could there be a mistake?" Her words were again calm and rational. I was starting to wonder if she was in shock. After all I thought there would be yelling by now. I thought there would be some form of emotion. 

"No. We have a phone conversation between Beth and Thomas. She told him that you came back to San Francisco." 

"What phone call? How?" 

"First of all Thomas McBride is really Thomas Parks." 

"Parks as in Ethan Parks. His brother?" 

"Yes. The father, Judge Randal Parks, had a phone tap due to corruption as judge. Thomas was there that night and Beth called him. We got the whole thing." 

The room settled into silence. "I want to hear it." She said finally. 

"Sara I don't think that is a good idea." 

"Why?" She asked. "I want to know it was her. I can't believe Beth would do that." 

Denial. I would have questioned everything too, if I just found out my best friend just stabbed me in the back. I tried to keep her away from anymore despair though. "Sara she did, and I don't want to put you through that." 

"Guess what Grissom, I was already put through _that_." 

"Just let me take you home Sara. Please." I squeezed her hand. 

"I told you when this started, that I don't want your sympathy. And this," she removed her hand from my grasp. "is sympathy." She stood up and started to pace the room. 

"Sara sit down. I need to talk to you." 

"About what?!" I knew she was angry but I can deal with anger. I just don't know what I would have done if she stayed so calm like this didn't bother her. I know it bothered her, because it bothered me. 

"You want to talk about how my best friend used me. God, she used me Grissom. I swore that no one would do that again. Damnit! Damn me!" 

I stood up. "Sara you are not to blame for Beth's actions. She is the one that is to blame." 

She continued pacing and totally ignored my comment. "Oh. My. God. I left her no choice. Its my fault. I knew I should have tried harder to keep her away from Thomas. She wouldn't be in this mess if I stopped her. If I was a better friend. She had every right to do what she did. I understand. I totally deserved it." 

No. "Sara stop thinking that way. You know you could have done nothing to change who she loved." No one controls who they love. 

"But I don't know that for sure. What if I..." 

I cut her off. "No Sara. No 'What if's'. Its over and there is nothing you can do about it." 

"I need to see her. What's going to happen to her?" 

"She is on her way to trial." 

"What is she claiming? I am sure a jury would find her actions justifiable." 

What?! She is worried about what is happening to the one that used her? I pulled her to a stop. "It's over Sara." We stood there staring at each other. "It's over Sara. Over." I repeated. She looked as if she wanted to cry but she wouldn't permit herself to do such a thing. 

The door opened. "Mr. Grissom I need you to sign some papers at the front desk." A young woman called from the doorway. 

I dropped my hands to my side. "Its over Sara. We're going home." 

Her breathing calmed. "Okay." She whispered. Suddenly her defeat was not as welcoming as I thought it would be. Now I knew that for Sara it wasn't over. I was only postponing the inevitable. I would order her to a doctor if she didn't get past this on her own. I didn't care if she hated me for life. 

I stepped out of the room to go sign the papers and hoped that the time alone would give Sara sometime to think things out. At the front desk I found Sara's casefile. I quickly signed all of the forms. It was over. I could take Sara home. We could all go home. 

"Well sir its been a pleasure working with you." I looked up and found Taylor Epps thrusting his hand over my file. "Despite our rough start, I have learned a lot about myself. I wanted to tell you that I transferred to the police force." 

"Why?" I asked perplexed. 

"You were right in a way. Being a CSI isn't for me. I think being a police officer working with the criminalists is just as important. And good ones seem to be in short supply here." 

"Listen Epps, I don't want to change your mind but I fell somewhat responsible for you leaving." 

"Don't be. Like I said being a CSI wasn't meant to be. Anyway I don't want to take up anymore of your time. When are you leaving?" 

"As soon as possible." 

"Well in that case I would like to slip in and see Sara before she goes. She really is the sweetest person. I went to keep her company while you and the team had work to do. I wanted to help someway. Is she going to pull through this?" 

"I don't know. Right now I just want to get us all home." 

"I don't blame you. Well I'll wait until Ethan's done then go talk to her." 

"What?!" 

He jumped at the loud urgency of my voice. "She is with Ethan. I saw him go in after you left. I know but he got a permission. There's nothing we can do. I checked." 

"Is he alone with her?" I asked a little afraid of the answer. 

"That's not part of the deal. Ethan could only see her if he was accompanied by another officer." 

"I didn't ask if he wasn't supposed to be, I asked if he was alone with her?" He didn't say a word. I had to get to Sara. If he was alone with her...I couldn't even fathom what was going on right now. 

When I reached the interrogation room I heard the shouting and my worst fears were confirmed. 

"I don't blame my brother for beating the shit out of you!" Then there was a loud thud against the aluminum door. I grabbed the doorknob but it was locked. Why didn't this door have a window? All doors should have windows. 

"Open the door!" I pounded on the door with all my might. "Open the door!" I yelled again but only got more shuffling and yelling from the other side. 

"Don't you ever touch me!" I heard Sara yell. Good for you Sara. Just keep him away from you until I get in there. 

"Why Sara I thought you liked it rough?!" 

I heard a resounding slam, which I knew was a fist hitting flesh, then a screech that must have been the table sliding across the floor. I felt so helpless out here when she was in there in harm's way. God this had to be the worst feeling ever; to hear someone you _love_ getting hurt. 

I turned around to see Epps looking ghostly white. "Get the keys to this room. Now!" 

He nodded and ran away. 

"Come on Sara! You started this finish it!" Ethan yelled. "You killed my brother, ruined my brother, and my father hates me! You bitch, its my turn to return the favor!" 

Oh my God, it was Sara that was getting the brunt of the blows. Then there was another slam against the nearby wall and I heard coughing. Sara coughing. 

"Mr. Grissom!" Epps yelled from down the hallway. He motioned the keys in the air and I nodded for him to throw them. I swiftly caught them and turned to unlock the door. I cursed my trembling hands as they jumped around the keyhole. Finally the key slipped in and I turned it. 

When I came in Sara was pinned against the wall and Ethan's arm choking her. I ran over and pulled him away from her. I threw him into the awaiting hands of three armed guards and Epps. 

I looked at Sara. Her breathing was labored and shallow. She wouldn't look at me, she looked at him, who was now being arrested. 

"You bitch! Let me go!" Ethan shouted. 

My ears picked up his voice but my eyes never left Sara. She was trembling violently under my touch. God she was in shock. 

"Sara look at me." She didn't move. I shook her shoulders lightly. "Look at me Sara!" Her actions were slow but she finally looked up at me. I couldn't read her eyes at all. It was like she was striped away from any feeling or any life. My eyes fell to her jaw, which was badly swollen and turning blue. Tears streaked her red flushed face. She couldn't seem to catch her breath or stop shaking. 

I was at a loss for words. Look what he did to her? He. Him. I turned and made a mad rush for Ethan. I didn't think, I felt. "You bastard!" My fist made solid contact with Ethan's face before anyone could predict and stop my wrath. I felt hands holding my shoulders back but I couldn't stop, not until he paid for what he did to Sara. I shoved him into the wall away from the hall. My fists came in contact with any part that was not blocked. 

"Get him the hell off me!" Ethan yelled through a blood soaked mouth. 

"Grissom!" I recognized Warrick's voice yell. "Stop man!" 

"No! Look what he did to her!" I yelled back. With that I shrugged off Warrick's grip and went after Ethan again. All my anger, all my hate came out. I was angry at Thomas for doing this to Sara in the first place, I was angry that Elizabeth Clark hurt her, and now angry at Ethan who managed to hurt her again. I wanted him to suffer like Sara suffered. 

"Grissom stop!" Warrick yelled again and pulled me back and away. 

"I want to press charges!" Ethan yelled. 

"Get him out of here!" Warrick spat back. 

My eyes searched for Sara. When our eyes locked her stare was blank but I could see pain written all over her face; on the verge of tears. 

"Holy shit Gris. Jesus look at your hands." Warrick said. 

I ignored him and went to Sara. I touched her face with my bloody hands. "God Sara tell me your okay?" 

At my touch she jumped back against the wall. It wasn't a little jump, no she really thrust her body into the wall to get away from me. 

She thinks I'll hurt her. No. "Sara I won't hurt you." 

She slid down the wall to a sitting position and started to gasp for air. "It...hap...pened...again." She started to fall forward and collapsed onto the floor. 

"Warrick go call an ambulance! Hurry!" I went to her side while Warrick rushed past us. I quickly scanned her over. "Sara where are you hurt?" 

She was still in a daze and shaking all over. Her eyes were glassy and looked into some distant spot on the floor. "It...hur...hurts." She said. 

"I know, where?" 

She moved her hand in one quick motion to her side then let it drop lifeless to the floor. The adrenaline rush no longer fueled her lungs or numbed the pain so she could breathe. She no longer took in air. Her chest quit rising. 

"No. Sara, stay with me Sara. Come on Sara." I told her it was over and it wasn't. I failed to protect her. I failed to love her. I failed her, end of story; end of life. 

"I am sorry sir but you have to move." A young paramedic said. I hadn't even realized they came in. 

"Come on Gil. Let them work." I recognized the voice and hand on my shoulder as Catherine's. The paramedic started to breathe into Sara's mouth, willing her lungs to take in air. Breathe Sara, please breathe. 

"Grissom?" Catherine said in my ear. 

My reaction was slow. I couldn't take my eyes off his rhythmic movement as he danced on Sara's mouth and chest. "Yes." 

Catherine bent down and put a hand under my elbow. "Gil come on get up. We need to make sure you're okay." 

"Sara..." I watched them examine her side. Before the medic pulled Sara's shirt back down I saw the immense bruising. Her normally pink skin became a range of blue and purple from the blood escaping under the skin and getting trapped. I felt sick. Nauseous. Dizzy. Lightheaded. It was a good thing I was sitting down. 

"Gil I know we will go see her as soon as we make sure you're okay. Come on get up." 

I looked down to my hands. They were covered in Ethan's blood. I mindlessly obeyed her and struggled to my feet. Warrick and Nick were close by to help pull me up and steady me. They carried Sara out of the room and out of sight. 

"Nick could you bring the car around front?" 

"Sure Catherine." 

"Warrick help me get Grissom out to the car." 

I heard them but it was all distant and unimportant compared to Sara. Sara. What was I going to do if she didn't make it? She stopped breathing. 

"Grissom?" 

I looked to Catherine and just noticed we were in the car driving to the hospital. "Yeah." 

"Talk to me." 

I blinked hard and continued to stare past her. I remember thinking, 'so this is what shock feels like.' This is what Sara felt like. Catherine watched the road then looked at me waiting for something, anything. Sorry Cath, I said silently, but this is something that I don't feel like sharing. I turned back to my window and stared out to the traffic. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

tbc... 


	24. The Visitor

Chapter 24: The Visitor 

Well the next several days pasted in a blur. All I remember was Sara, bruised, beaten, and lying in a hospital bed. Again. Sara was touch and go for a minute. The doctors lost her a few times but she pulled through. Thank God. She had massive internal bleeding and a punctured lung. They had to open her up and fix the internal bleeding and the lung. She will have a scar due to the incision but I am just glad she is alive. I was told the one lung will never be fully up to par either. Which means she can't enter the decathlon, but basic activities and such are permitted. As far as mentally, Sara wasn't herself. She didn't have her usual stamina or ambition. The doctor made her talk to a psychiatrist, which was all fine by me. Better Sara talk to someone than keep all this inside. At each session I went to the hotel and got a hot shower and something to eat, which was required by the doctor if I wanted to stay past visiting hours. If I had it my way I would never leave her side. 

I sent Warrick, Catherine, and Nick home four days ago when Sara was moved from intensive care. They really couldn't afford to miss more work. I told Catherine to run night shift until I got back with Sara. So it was just me and Sara. She wouldn't say much to me, and sometimes a whole day would pass and she wouldn't say a word. So here we were, in a quiet comfortable silence. 

Then the doctor, a nice lady in her forties, came walking in to disrupt my thoughts. I immediately stood up and took my place in the corner to get out of her way. She was nice and treated Sara really well. They had a rough start though. When Sara was in intensive care and she just came to, the doctor tried to examine her. Sara scared all of us by jerking back so forcefully that she nearly fell out of the bed. She started to scream and tried to run away. Nick and Warrick stopped her before she reached the elevator luckily. After they sedated her the doctor explained that it was a defense instinct. Sara was abused for so long and so many times that she assumed everyone was out to hurt her. I was glad Catherine was there with me. She eased my mind somewhat. I wanted to run for the nearest exit when I saw how bad Sara was. I wasn't good at this, but Catherine insisted that I stay, so here I was standing in the corner as the doctor examined Sara. 

"Good morning Mr. Grissom." She said. 

"Morning Dr. Washington. How are you?" 

"I've had better days." She checked some things on the monitor then went around to face Sara. "Sara sweetie, how are you feeling?" 

"Fine." Came Sara's reply. Yeah right. Even I knew Sara was in a lot of pain. I could tell the way she slept. Her rest was never restful it seemed. 

"Come on I need you to sit up." She doctor gently touched Sara's hand, which was the limit. Can't touch more than the hand. 

"Later." Sara said. I couldn't see her eyes but I knew she was staring out the window. She always did. 

"No now. Come on swing your feet over the side." She said this but the doctor wouldn't touch her legs or anything but the hand to help her. "Sara I need to listen to your chest. Come on honey." 

Sara struggled to a sitting position. There was a sharp intake of breath as the wave of pain hit her. Once she steadied herself, she let her feet fall carelessly over the side. 

The doctor placed the stethoscope on Sara's chest. I saw Sara flinch and wondered if it was cold or if she was scared by the physical contact. 

"Take a slow deep breath. Good another one. Again." Satisfied, the doctor removed her instrument and slung it around her neck. "I think you can be out of here in about two more days, provided you eat more." 

"Good. Are you done?" 

"Now that I have you up, I need to see how you're healing. Do you want Mr. Grissom to leave?" 

"It's nothing he hasn't seen before in our line of work." She said. 

If she only knew how different this was. It wasn't like any case I have ever had, no this was personal. 

The doctor looked Sara up and down with her hands up to show Sara she meant no harm. "Sara I am going to lift your shirt and have a look okay? I won't hurt you. Promise." Sara tensed as the doctor raised her shirt. 

"It hurts." Sara whispered. 

"I know sweetie." The doctor held up Sara's shirt with one hand and glided the other over Sara's thin body. Sara drew in a sharp breath. "Does that hurt?" 

"Your hands are cold." 

"Sorry." Dr. Washington removed her hands and put Sara's shirt back in place. "Well you feel warm. Let me take your temperature." She pulled out one of her electronic thermometers from under one of the carts and placed it in Sara's mouth. "How are you doing Mr. Grissom?" She asked turning to me. 

"Good." I said never taking my eyes off of Sara. 

"You look like you need your rest. Why don't you go back to the hotel? Sara will be fine." 

"No really I am okay." She was about to practically kick me out but the thermometer beeped saving me from another lecture. 

"All right Sara, you have a slight fever. How do you feel? The truth this time." 

"Tired." 

"It's your body needing time to recover. Well I want you to eat a good breakfast. No arguments. You need your strength." The doctor turned to me. "As for you, I want to speak to you outside." I nodded and Dr. Washington turned back to Sara. "And Sara its procedure for Susan to come see you at least one more time." 

"I don't need a shrink." 

"She'll be in at four." The doctor patted Sara's hand then motioned for me to join her outside. I closed the door gently behind me. We walked a safe distance from Sara's door, so we couldn't be overheard. 

"When is the last time you slept?" Dr. Washington asked. 

"Doctor, I am fine really. I have gone without less sleep. How is Sara?" 

She frowned at my subject change but answered. "Well considering she let me touch her is a very good sign, but the fact that she lies about being in pain is bad. Mr. Grissom I don't mean to pry but are you and Sara together?" 

No doubt my eyes conveyed my surprise. I shouldn't be so shocked since I never left her side; someone was bound to think we were a couple. I just didn't know how to respond. My dreams often had us together but in reality, Sara was farther away from me now than she has ever been. "No." I said softly. 

"Does she talk to you?" 

"Some but not much." 

"Do you talk about what happened?" 

"Never. Why?" 

"The psychiatrist said she isn't talking to her. They sit in silence for the entire session, so we thought she was talking to you." 

I had no idea that Sara was keeping this all inside. She seemed to be getting better. We talked a little more. She would smile, or at least try to anyway. I began to worry but eased my own mind and the doctor's. "No but Sara was never one to share and especially with me." 

"Well, she is healing nicely as far as her bruises. I think she will be released within the next two days. As for you, I really should send you home, but seeing as you are good for her, you can stay. I'll make sure you get a tray for breakfast." 

"Thank you." 

"You're welcome. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to make my rounds." Dr. Washington walked down the hall leaving me to my thoughts. 

"Grissom!" 

My head shot up so fast I could have given myself whiplash. "Greg?" 

Greg Sanders practically ran over to me. He was dressed in a simple shirt and jeans. 

"What are you doing here?" I asked. 

"Sara. Is she okay?" He asked breathlessly. 

"Greg...how?" 

"I drove Grissom." He looked at the floor. "Catherine gave me the next two days off. She said I could bug the crap out of you instead of her. I hope you don't mind." 

I stared at him in utter disbelief. I never thought Greg and Sara were so close. I knew that Greg flirted blatantly with Sara but I thought it as nothing more. I thought the two were just coworkers. I guess I underestimated him. Again. 

"Grissom?" Greg asked. "You're not upset because I came to see Sara are you?" 

"No. Not at all." I shook my head. "You just surprised me." 

"So how is Sara?" 

Greg's eyes were full of emotion. I have never seen him get to emotional before. He looked like he was on the verge of tears or either he was very pissed off. "Sara is fine Greg. Well better than when she was brought in." 

"I heard she was in intensive care for a few days." 

"Yeah she had some internal bleeding. Greg," I looked at the young man then to Sara's room. "How much do you know about what happened?" 

"Just what I dragged out of Nick. Sara shot some guy in self-defense, you guys cleared her, and some asshole beat her up to get back at her." 

I frowned at his language. But then again if someone taped my words from the past few days, I bet my mouth wasn't too clean either. "He wasn't the only guy that beat Sara. The guy she shot, was an ex-boyfriend. He hit her too Greg." 

Greg shoved his hands in his pockets. "Hit her, like in an abusive relationship?" 

"Afraid so." I said. 

"So that's what she meant." He said almost to himself. 

"What do you mean 'that's what she meant'? When?" 

"Before Sara came here, we were supposed to go to breakfast together but she canceled and said she had an old rape/abuse case to look over. I assumed it was an old file she was working on. I mean it wasn't usual for Sara to go back through her cases, especially those cases. Now I know why." Greg rocked on his heels. "Can I see her?" 

I snapped out of my daze. "Yes but Greg I want to warn you that she is pretty banged up. She doesn't look like the Sara Sidle at the office. Okay?" 

"Yeah." 

I lead Greg down the hall into Sara's room. She was now back under the covers and peering out the window. 

Greg stepped just inside the door. "Hey Sara. Watch anything good on TV lately?" 

Sara physically jumped under the covers. She rolled over as fast as she could. "Greg?! What are you doing here?" 

He crossed the room to her bed. "To see you of course. You didn't think I came the whole way here for Grissom did you?" He turned to me. "No offense Gris but I didn't miss you that much." 

"None taken Greg." I frowned. 

"So Sara, did you miss me?" 

Sara forced a smile at her friend. "If you only knew how I missed your wit and charm. Break open any cases?" 

"At least one a day." 

"That's because Nick can't solve them on his own." She joked. "How is everybody?" 

"Oh good. You know, Catherine getting pretty comfortable in your chair Gris." He called over his shoulder. 

"Thanks for the update Greg." 

"No problem. Nick and Warrick are lost without you. They can't wait to get you back. They said something about a party." 

"Great." She replied sarcastically. "Would it be a bad thing if I didn't show up?" 

"Not if you elope with me." 

"Sounds like a plan." 

I watched the entire conversation in awe. I couldn't believe Sara was so pleased to see Greg. Her spirits seemed higher. At first I was hurt and somewhat jealous of Greg. I mean I have been here for days and Sara just spoke to me about what she read in a science journal. Even that was a complicated subject matter, because it lead to previous cases, which somehow lead to why Sara was here. Then again everything became complicated with Sara and me. 

"I left them in the car but I brought you some chocolate covered cherries, your favorite. I can get them later." 

"Oh thanks Greg." 

"And your favorite song." He produced a CD case from his back pocket. 

"My favorite song?" 

"Yeah, the one you showed me how to dance to." 

"That's hardly my favorite song Greg." 

"Well its my favorite now." 

"So I take it Valerie enjoyed your moves." 

"You're a very good teacher. I have a date with her next Friday." 

"Very nice." Sara looked over to me to explain. "He is in love with Valerie Good from ballistics. She invited him to a dance club." She turned back to Greg. "You'll have to tell me everything about the first date." 

"Yeah that was a good night for both of us. Valerie thanks you." 

"Good how?" I asked. Surely he wasn't implying that he slept with that girl on the first date. 

Greg smiled. "Been out of the playing field that long Grissom." I scowled at him and he visibly moved closer to Sara. "What I meant to say was the younger generation isn't so traditional." 

"Are you implying that I am old Greg?" 

"No, no, no. I mean, Sara help me out." 

"Sorry Greggo, but this is the most entertainment I have had in a long time. You're on your own." She smiled. It was genuine this time and I took notice of that. 

"Gee thanks babe." 

Sara started to laugh. "Don't call me babe, isn't that Valerie's nickname?" 

"It was when I woke up beside her." 

"Greg! That's horrible." She started to laugh harder but stopped abruptly to place a hand on her side. "That hurts." 

I rushed over to her side almost pushing Greg down. "Sara you shouldn't be laughing with broken ribs. You could hurt yourself." I turned sharply to Greg. "Stop making her laugh." 

Greg backed away. "Sorry Sara." 

I was about to lay into him but Sara stopped me. "Relax Grissom." Sara smiled sweetly. "I'm fine, I just won't do that again." 

"Do you want me to get Dr. Washington?" I asked running my hands over her side. I was completely oblivious that I was touching her but she let me know real quick. 

"Stop Grissom." Her words were cut short and louder than a speaking tone. I removed my hands and dropped them to my side. 

"Sorry I shouldn't have snapped at you. I'm fine really." She looked deep into my eyes. It felt like she could peirce my soul with those brown eyes. "When was the last time you slept? Look don't even answer, I can see the black clips under your eyes. Now I know why you lurk in the darkness, so I can't see that you look horrible. Why don't you go back to the hotel? Greg can keep my company." I started to object but she waved her hand. "Just go, please. I know you don't sleep well in that chair and you need to eat something besides my left overs." 

"If you ate more I wouldn't have a choice but to find somewhere else to eat." I smiled. 

"Don't turn this around just go. I'll be fine. Promise." She gave me a smile to let me know that she was going to be okay. 

"If you're sure?" I asked. 

"Positive." 

"Okay. Greg anything goes wrong call the doctor for Sara and the mortuary for yourself, because I'll kill you if anything happens." 

Greg's eyes got wide. "That's being fair. What if there is an earthquake? They are common in California and also acts of nature that I can't possibly control." 

"In that scenario, I better find out that you used yourself as a human shield for Sara. And you died protecting her." 

"You are so caring Gris. I think you should work more on your people skills." He said mockingly. 

"I don't have people skills Greg. Get over it." I hesitantly stepped out and left Sara in the care of Greg Sanders. I was just joking about what I said. I knew Sara was in good hands with Greg. He was really a great person. Annoying at times but still a great person. Besides I knew Sara would enjoy the company. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
tbc... 


	25. All's Fair in Love and War

Author's Notes: Well thanks for the reviews! The next chapter is the last but I'll post the epilogue with it for a nice follow up to the G/S dynamic. Hope you like this long chapter enough to review it and if you didn't tell my anyway! 

Chapter 25: All's Fair in Love and War 

Greg and I took turns watching over Sara as she recovered. I had a new respect for him after I saw him interacting with Sara. Sara got well enough to be released just as the doctor predicted two days later. She was much better, both physically and mentally, or very good at hiding how she felt. 

After her release, Sara finally convinced me to let her see Elizabeth Clark. Greg and I took her to the holding facility where Clark was awaiting trial. I don't know what happened because Sara wouldn't let me stay in the room but their conversation didn't last long. Sara has been quiet ever since their meeting. I tried to lift her spirits by telling her that Ethan Parks was stripped of his badge and sent to prison for what he did to her. After all he almost killed her. She was pleased but I expected a bigger reaction coming from Sara. I never told her about how I almost ruined my career for attacking Ethan. She didn't need that, besides nothing came of it. Dobbs cleared me and sent me on my way. I thanked him many times for saving everything I had worked for. Judge Parks is still under investigation and I don't really care what happens to him. People like him don't go to prison anyway, they get a bill in the mail. Politics. I hate them. 

As I drove down the highway headed towards home, I put everything behind me. I drove in silence. Sara sat snugly in the passenger's seat still semi-awake and when I checked my rear view mirror Greg, who had his own car to drive home, was bobbing his head to some music. I smiled to myself. No doubt some loud new rock group I never heard of. That's probably why Sara chose to ride with me. Less noise, more sleep. The drive was long and boring but at least I had good company. Sara. Like I said she hasn't said a word to me since we left for home, but she is here, with me safe and sound. She shifted uncomfortably and I saw her grimace in pain. 

"You okay?" My voice was loud as it hit the dead air. 

"Yeah. I'm fine." She tried to get more comfortable. "The medicine the doctor prescribed makes me drowsy but doesn't do a thing for the pain so I can't sleep." 

"I can pull over if you want to get in the back and stretch out across the seat. It might help." 

"No I won't be able to sleep back there either. I just want to get home to my own room, with my own bed, and my own blankets." 

I wanted to ask her if her side hurt but she turned on the radio signaling the end of our conversation. The music was soft and perfect for my mood. I couldn't name it but it was nice. I continued to drive and Sara eventually nodded off. By the time we reached Vegas it was dark. I found Sara's place with no trouble but I was saddened my time with her was over. 

"Sara." I touched her shoulder. "You're home." 

Her eyes flew open with a start. She looked out the window then back at me. "How long was I out?" She asked with a yawn. 

"Most of the trip. Come on I'll help you inside." I reached down to her lap and unbuckled her seat belt. 

"Thanks Gris, but you should go home and get your rest for work tomorrow. I'll be fine getting in really." 

I looked deep into her eyes. They were usually cloudy. "I don't want to drop you off on the curb Sara. It's no trouble." 

"What do you think is going to happen between here and my apartment?" She teased. 

I knew my protective nature was probably the funniest thing she had ever seen, since it wasn't too often I expressed it. "I just want you to be okay." I said lightly smiling. 

"Goodnight Grissom." She smiled back. "I'll call you if I need help unlocking my door." She opened the door and crawled out. She gave a quick wave to Greg behind us. I was about to protest when she cut me off by shouting to Greg. "Night Greg!" 

"Goodnight Sara! See you later!" Greg yelled. 

She smiled then turned back to me. "See you after sick leave Gris." 

"Or before then if you have trouble with your door." I smiled widely at her. She returned it then closed the car door. 

She climbed the steps to the lobby door. Once inside Greg beeped the horn and took off in the other direction towards his place. I started the car and headed home myself. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

I went to work about three hours early the next day. I couldn't really sleep and it felt good to be back in the groove of things. Doing paperwork wasn't my favorite chore but I welcomed the stack of papers Catherine left me as a sign of normalcy. That's what I was doing when I was summoned by Mobley. 

"Come in Gil. We need to talk." He called from his chair. 

It was no surprise that Ecklie was there lurking in the shadows but I managed to ignore him for now. "About what?" I asked but I was fully aware where this was headed. I knew there were repercussions for mine actions as well as Sara's. 

"Close the door." He said to me. I closed the door and stepped to the front of his desk. "First, this is about your little excursion to San Francisco without proper approval." 

"I filed for permission before we left. You must not have gotten the memo." I said lightly. 

He didn't take my tone as lightly though. "You were not cleared Gil." He said sitting up attentively. He never liked me but the feeling was mutual. 

"My crime scene was two days old as it was, I had to get there as soon as possible." I tried to reason with him. "Besides it looks good for the department that Sara Sidle was cleared of all charges." 

"What doesn't look good is your behavior throughout this case." Mobley said curtly. "I was notified of your attack against the man who arrested Miss Sidle. Besides an almost assault charge brought against you, it suggests you have feelings for her that go beyond your work relationship." 

"I do have feelings for her. I have feelings for all of my CSIs. If you believe such a thing is going on between me and Sara, perhaps you should examine my relationship with each of my subordinates." 

"You know what feelings he is talking about Gil." Ecklie said with a mocking tone. "It doesn't look good for the department if you are sleeping with Sidle." 

"Stay out of this Conrad. Why are you here anyway? You are not my superior. I hardly see you as an equal." The tension in the room was enough to cut through with a knife. 

"Relax Gil," Mobley said. "I asked him to come. He is the one that brought to my attention your feelings for Sidle." 

"Well then maybe you should ask him about the words exchanged between us about Miss Sidle." I glared at Ecklie. "I don't forget an insult Conrad. You should know me better than that." 

"Are you threatening me?" He stepped up to me. 

"No. Just following your lead. I can play dirty too." I smiled. 

Mobley rose from his chair. "Enough. No one wants another bad situation to explain to the press. Gil you will be heavily reprimanded for leaving Vegas without permission. I wanted you to know that it will go on your file. For the next two weeks you are not allowed to work a case. You are assigned to paperwork duty." 

I can't say I was surprised. I knew something would be done to punish me, but considering I was counting on suspension without pay, I suddenly got very worried that they had another way to punish me. "And my team?" I asked boldly. 

"As for Willows, Stokes, and Brown they are cleared. Nothing will be reported. I have already phoned Sara Sidle to let her know what I plan to do with her and she has agreed." 

My heart sank. It took all my being to keep my tone flat. "You called her right after all that she has been through? And surely you can't fire her, she was cleared. I won't let you do that to her. She is the best CSI we have. Not to mention there is no way she is responsible for the death of Thomas McBride." 

"Yes I called her, she needed to know the consequences of her actions. But no I won't be terminating her employment. It is protocol though that such an accusation as murder go in her record. Normally you know that she would be dismissed automatically but I have decided to grant her leniency. My superiors agree that she should be reprimanded but to fire her for helping a friend would be wrong." 

"Yeah, I guess Sara's battered face and the fact that you fired her wouldn't float well with your voters." I said bitterly. I knew the real reason he was doing this and it infuriated me. It was all about the press and what they thought. He thought such an excuse was worthy. He was wrong. 

"Watch it Gil. I have the power to do a lot more if I want to. Now we have decided that she will not be eligible for a promotion for four years and she will be suspended without pay for three weeks." He sighed. "I realize Miss Sidle has been out of work for about that time with no pay. I told her she can complete her sick leave and come back to work. I think I am being fair on this Gil; more than generous. Do we understand each other?" 

I nodded. 

"As for your feelings for the girl, I don't want to hear about it in the paper at breakfast. Are we clear? Good. You're dismissed. I expect a full report of the case so I can present it to the press if the time comes." 

"Fine." I said. "I'll have it to you by the end of the day." I turned on my heels and left. I found myself back at my office doing paperwork again, but I could no longer keep my attention on the task at hand. My mind kept wondering off. 

"Grissom?" 

I looked up from my papers. "You're here early." I said to Catherine. 

"Eddie has Lindsay and I knew you would be here." She sat down. "You talked to Mobley I heard. I also heard that Sara can stay." 

Instead of asking how she heard so soon, I let my thoughts become words. "Four years without promotion? Sara loves her job, and she is damn good at it. To have no recognition for such good work, is just wrong." 

She drew in a sharp intake of air. "Better than no job at all. Sara agreed to Mobley's terms so I guess that's the way she sees it." 

"This puts her entire career on hold. With no promotion she is held back." 

"But a promotion is just a higher paycheck. It won't stop Sara from becoming a more experienced CSI." 

"It's still wrong. She shouldn't be punished at all. She has been through enough." 

Catherine let out a heavy sigh to let me know she fully agreed. "How is she?" 

I dropped my pen to the desk, visually giving up. "I don't know. She isn't exactly forth coming with anything." 

"Can you blame her?" 

"No. I am just worried. She tries to pretend she is fine but she isn't the same." 

"Time will tell if she is okay. Let her sort through her thoughts, and in the meantime you should too." 

"What thoughts?" I asked skeptically. 

"Sara, Gil. And don't tell me you don't know what I am talking about. There is nothing obstructing you from being with Sara, besides yourself." 

"Mobley and Ecklie are two very good reasons." I reminded her. We had this talk before, or rather Catherine brought it up before but I chose to ignore her. 

"What can they do? Its not in the rules. And now she can't be promoted so even if she deserves it you can't give her a raise. Doesn't look like favoritism. You are practically with her now anyway. If Ecklie can see it, then so can everyone else. Granted they can make you life a living hell, but at least you'll have Sara to get through it." 

"Its inappropriate Catherine. She works for me." 

"Inappropriate my ass. It happens all the time Gil. As long as you two don't let it affect your work then there is no reason for Ecklie or Mobley to fire you." A smile graced her lips. "I don't see you two doing anything that could be thought of as inappropriate for the workplace. Unless you planned to do it on your desk with the blinds open." 

I permitted myself to chuckle. "No I don't think that would happen." I sighed again for the umpteenth time that night. "Sara doesn't need the reputation that she is sleeping with the boss and Ecklie won't exactly keep his mouth shut. I don't want her to get hurt because of me." 

"Think about it Grissom. She is staying under b.s. conditions just to stay in Vegas with you. Not because it is the best lab in the country, but because of you. Any lab would love to have her even with this on her record. But she agreed to stay. Do you think she cares what others would think about her if you two were an item?" I didn't answer. I was afraid of the answer. 

"Are you afraid to hurt Sara or are you afraid Sara will hurt you?" She asked. 

"Both." I said honestly. 

"Just tell her Gil. She needs to have someone right now. I think she is waiting for you to tell her what she needs to hear. If you don't then I wouldn't blame her for leaving." 

"I don't know if I can." I said finally. 

"You said that Sara isn't herself. Don't let her get lost in her past because you aren't brave enough to be a part of her future. Trust me, she feels the same way about you." 

"Do you save all of this love advice just for me?" I smiled. 

"You're the only one who needs it." She rose from her chair with an satisfied grin on her face. "Come on Gris go hand out assignments." 

"Right." I got up from my desk. "I have paperwork for two weeks." 

"It's going to be hell week for you buddy." She said tapping my shoulder. 

"Well its not like you can't do my job for me." 

"No way. You were right, the grass _is_ always greener. If I had to put up with Ecklie at another staff meeting, I would have lost it." 

I laughed for the first time in a long time. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

tbc... 


	26. The White Admiral Butterfly

Author's Notes: Hello! I would have posted yesterday but seeing how the great and wonderful Geena (and yes you are great and wonderful!) pointed out that I accidentally didn't really explain how Sara felt, I had some minor adjustments to make to say the least. This is the last chapter but I have also posted the Epilogue. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I loved writing it. Yep I am finished Investigating Sara Sidle, even though it was more of an investigation of Gil Grissom. It took me forever to find the right way for Grissom to tell Sara how he felt and be original at the same time. So I hope you like it. Thank you again Geena for helping me. And I enjoyed and appreciated all those that sent reviews and would like to know what you think of the ending. Enjoy! 

*Oh and the legend in this chapter is made up. Totally a work of true fiction by yours truly (a creation of my under used brain ;) The butterfly is real though, I know I searched everywhere for the right one. Anyway here it is!* 

Chapter 26: The White Admiral Butterfly 

Sara occupied my thoughts throughout my shift. Catherine's words were an awakening, now I just had to follow through with them. I drove by her place but didn't have the courage to knock on her door. I was afraid how she would react to seeing me. I have never been to Sara's actually. I knew the way because so nights I found myself just driving by. Pathetic I know. So here I sat, at home staring at my bugs. I ran so many scenarios through my head that I was actually getting a headache. In each scenario my brain managed to play out, I came to one conclusion: I loved Sara. I just needed the to say it when she was in the room. So given the circumstance that I had not yet arrived about how to tell her, it can be expected that I was a little shocked that Sara showed up on my doorstep. 

"Sara? What's wrong?" These were the first words out of my mouth, and regretted that it sounded like I didn't want her there. 

She was dressed in a green Harvard sweatshirt and jeans. Her hair fell in line with her jaw but you could still see the healing bruises on her face; especially the dark one on her jaw. 

"I know it's late but it's just eating away at me. I...I wanted to say I am sorry." 

"For what?" I asked perplexed. 

"Lying." Her breathing got faster as she spoke faster. "Grissom I have had a lot of time to think, and well it means a lot if I have someone to trust, especially now." 

I had no idea that of all the things that could be on her mind, I was at the top of her list. "Sara I told you that it doesn't matter. I understood why you lied." 

It was quiet for awhile before any of us spoke. She looked at her feet then made a sudden movement to walk away. "I am so sorry I shouldn't have come." 

"No Sara wait!" She was near the steps when I ran out the door after her. Now was my window of opportunity to tell her how I felt. "Do you want to come in?" 

I looked at her for a moment praying that she would say yes. To my relief she nodded and slowly stepped just inside the door. 

We stood for a moment in silence again. This was happening way too often recently. "I know what Mobley is doing to you. I want you to know that it is wrong." I said quickly trying to make conversation. 

"Hey don't worry about it. We're still friends right?" 

Catherine was right, she was staying because of me. "Of course Sara." I moved to touch her arm but she backed away. It was somewhat shocking that she backed up. I thought she felt the same way. Suddenly I felt like I shouldn't go through with this. If Sara would reject me I would kill myself. I knew part of the reason she was jumpy was because of the case but surely she has gotten better, at least a little better. Why was she so afraid of me? "Sara you know I won't hurt you, right?" 

She looked right into my eyes penetrating my soul. "Grissom...let's just forget it. I don't want to upset you." 

Upset me? "No Sara. Talk to me. What's wrong?" Please just talk to me Sara, I silently begged. 

She was quiet for awhile gathering her thoughts. Then she spoke with a lowered head. "I'm sorry but no I don't know that you won't hurt me." 

Okay I couldn't breathe. It was barely audible but I heard her. Good thing my hearing didn't fade out. Even though my heart wouldn't be breaking if it did. All this time she thought I would hurt her. I have been scared she was not going to come out of this, and I was the reason. "Sara I would never hurt you. Never." 

"You hurt Ethan." 

What? What is she talking about? Of course I hurt that son-of-a-bitch! "Sara he was hurting you. I wasn't going to forget that. I had to stop him." 

She rocked back and forth. "But you didn't just stop him, you...attacked him. I have never seen you so angry before. You scare me." 

Scare? That's present tense. She wasn't scared, she _is_ scared. Oh my God. I stepped closer to her and she moved back. "He hurt you Sara. It hurt so much to see him do that to you." Again I stepped closer but this time she didn't back away. "I would never hurt you. Trust me." 

She moved away from me and into the living room with a noticeable limp but tried to disguise it with the short steps. She was again avoiding me. She ran her eyes gracefully over my things observing everything in detail. I watched her move from this to that. It was almost hypnotizing. 

"Is this your butterfly collection?" She said changing the subject. Butterflies are a safer subject. "I always loved butterflies. Each one is unique and so beautiful." She continued. 

I looked her up and down. Her posture was one still conveying unease. I dropped our old topic. I didn't want her to run away from me; not now. Not when I need her to understand. "I love butterflies too. Your right each one is unique and very special." 

She turned abruptly. "Grissom I need someone to talk to." 

Her statement shocked me yet I was relieved she couldn't just drop what we had started. I could talk about insects all day but somehow it didn't fit in right now. "Sara you can always talk to me." I crossed over to her but was careful not to get in her personal space again. 

"I can't handle this on my own." She sat down on my sofa and looked up to me. "I trust you but there is a tiny voice in the back of my head that tells me to stay away. It's like a battle of thoughts and feelings inside me. I don't know how to explain it. I feel..." Her eyes became watery and she grew quiet. "It hurts." She said finally. 

"What hurts?" 

Her brow knitted in confusion as she struggled to convey what she felt. "I hurt." 

I knew Sara was not one to admit her feelings that ran so deep. She needed someone to talk to and she chose me. Despite the fact that she was afraid of me or the fact that I wasn't good at this, she chose me. Catherine was right, she has feelings for me or she would have left a long time ago. Talking was a start to trusting me again. So the socially inept one, me, that couldn't even tell her that he was madly in love with her rummaged through a million thoughts of what to say. I am not one that is good with words, or people, or relationships, or talking, or comforting but I knew I had to help her and the only way to help her was to confess my feelings. "Stand up." I told her. 

She was perplexed, I could see it in her eyes. "Why?" She asked subduing the tears. 

"Just trust me." Again that combination of words; trust me. Please Sara trust me again, I need you to trust me. 

Confusion again washed over her face but she slowly got to her feet. She stood facing me and I examined every detail of her face closely. Then I ran my eyes up and down her body only to return to her face. That beautiful face. 

"Now turn around." 

Sara slowly did as I said as she put all of her faith in me. All of that doubt and fear was subdued even for a moment. I moved to stand close behind her. My hand rested on the small of her back and I leaned into her ear. Her smell was intoxicating. "Close your eyes." I whispered; my breath moved her hair. 

She paused then closed her eyes at my command. I continued. "Have I ever told you about the White Admiral butterfly; _Limenitis arthemis arthemis_?"__

__She shook her head no. I watched her hair sway with the movement. The smell became more alluring, it smelled like...Sara. 

"Its a fairly large butterfly with a wing span of about two and seven eighths to about three and one eighth inches long. It is coal-black with milk-white bands across the middle of its wings above and below. Often it has blue or blue-green iridescence above and white circles outline the wings. The blue is a deep dark blue, like the depths of the ocean. There is also a row of blue crescent-shaped marks on the wings. They are sought after by collectors for their beauty. It is one of the rarest species of butterflies in the world, because of disappearance of their habitat and collection." 

I brushed her back with my chest and noticed she didn't jump away. "You see it is rare to find such a combination of colors. In fact no other species can be found. Some believe the combination of colors was simple evolution for survival of the species. Others choose to believe the legend." 

Sara was totally still now. Her breathing soft and regular. She no longer had a guard up to keep me away. 

"Do you want to hear the legend?" I asked. 

"Yes." She whispered. 

"Some believe that once the White Admiral was completely white. Flawlessly white in color, hence the name White Admiral. Well one day the White Admiral came across someone in great pain." 

"Why were they in pain?" She whispered. 

"No one really knows why I suppose, but the pain was unimaginable. So take your pain Sara, and multiply it times three. Okay?" 

"Okay." 

"The White Admiral happened to fly by that person and felt the sadness and pain. Upon seeing someone in so much pain, the White Admiral became saddened itself. It had to take the pain away. All of that pain was taken by the White Admiral. That is why it is predominantly black, because it mourns the pain. The only white left is where the tears fell on its wings." I stopped and was inches from her ear and whispered, "Open your eyes Sara." 

She slowly opened her eyes and turned to face me once again. I searched her eyes. They were filled with such pain and unhappiness. "Let me be your White Admiral Butterfly Sara." I watched her reaction. "Let me take away your pain." 

A single tear ran down her cheek and I brushed it away with my thumb. Her skin was soft and warm, so alive. I could see it in her eyes that she knew what I was saying. 

"You don't deserve such pain." She said still whispering. 

"Neither do you." I whispered and our lips met in the softest most powerful kiss I have ever known. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

The End 

Don't forget the Epilogue, I don't want you to hate my ending without seeing what happens next!lol. 


	27. Epilogue

Author's Notes: Well this is the end people; the epilogue. 

Epilogue 

Even though I never said 'I love you' during the telling of my story, Sara knew it was a deep confession of my feelings for her. That's what I love about her. She knows that I am not very good expressing how I feel, so she is pretty patient with me to this day. 

Time went by and it is hard to believe that its been three years. We agreed to take it slow when we started. It was all very new for the both of us. For one month and twelve days we didn't even sleep together. I probably sound desperate but that's because I wanted to be with Sara, every aspect of her. But I kept my craving at bay until she was ready. Due to many sleepless nights, I read about the psychological battle women like Sara had to go through to trust someone again. I didn't realize she was going through so much just to love someone again. And the fact that she was taking her chances loving me was enough to make me wait forever if I had to. 

It wasn't forever though. The first time we made love was amazing and very worthy of the wait. It was after work. I was changing a flat tire and Sara was holding the flashlight when we were caught in a downpour of rain. We were soaked head to toe. It was the sight to see. I would have been furious but seeing Sara laugh at me, anger lost its appeal. She told me how much she loved me even when I was wet and mad and I gave in. I said I loved her too and we kissed. The kiss became something so much more and before I knew it we were back at my place. It was a beautiful mixture of passion, lust, mutual understanding, and unconditional love. I never knew I could love someone so much. Now every time it rains I think of our first time together. I know she thinks about it too, because she smiles at me all night during work. 

I like to think I know every inch of her body. Every point that makes her shiver under my touch and she knows where to find the certain places that drive me crazy. But surprisingly there are some places that I haven't yet found and some I didn't know I had. There is nothing planned about us. It's all so spontaneous and revealing even after we have been together so many times before. Our love making has such a beautiful quality because it is with her; the woman I love uncontrollably. Everything Sara does is beautiful. The way she bites her lip in concentration, the way she eats her cereal in the morning, the way she brushes her hair, the list could go on forever. She is the perfect symbol of beauty. I tell her that all the time and she just tells me that I am sleep deprived. Her modesty is even beautiful. 

We kept our relationship just for us for about five months. No one knew but Catherine until she cracked and told Nick, Warrick, and Greg. Sara wasn't upset at all so neither was I. After the graveyard shift knew we got so comfortable being together at work that we accidentally kissed each other good-bye in the open hallway. I was telling her to be careful and she gave me her typical, 'don't worry Grissom I'll be fine' speech and we leaned in for a kiss. When we realized what we did, it was too late. We were pulled into the sheriff's office faster than I knew possible. Ecklie must have him on speed dial or something. He put us on notice is what he called it. If anymore of a public display was reported Sara would be moved to dayshift, but other than that he didn't have much to say. He couldn't really, there was nothing prohibiting our relationship. There was talk about us, rumors mostly probably started by Ecklie but we didn't mind. We just ignored them. I was careful not to make anymore mistakes like the one we made before but Sara didn't make it easy for me. I made her pay dearly for teasing me when we got home. All in all though it was easy to be discrete at work. Sometimes Catherine would ask if we were still together after a long night of no communication. I assured her that nothing was wrong and it seemed to pacify her until she could ask Sara later. Work became basically the same as it was before we got together. The cases were challenging and disturbing as usual but now I didn't have to go home to an empty bedroom. I slept much better to say the least. 

Sara slowly came around to talking to me about her past. She cried a lot but she needed to cry. I soon told her about my hearing and she was anything but unstable and emotional about it. I actually cried and she held me. We shared each other's tears to get through the worst. She was there for me when I told the team about it and she was there during the surgery, which turned out great. The surgery was able to repair my hearing to ninety percent but Sara learned sign language just for me. I told her it was no use, I wanted to hear her voice not watch her hands. But being stubborn she just wanted to show how much she cared. Now we communicate both ways which drives Catherine, Warrick, and Nick crazy. They made the joke that we should just cut to the chase and transfer brain waves directly. I am still working on it but Sara can read my mind before I even know what I am thinking. 

I feel complete with Sara. I no longer had to hide behind my wall; not for Sara anyway. She always has a way to drag something out of me. I never thought it possible to share all my secrets with one person and not feel regret that she knows so much about me. I love her so much I can't help but to smile just at the thought of her. 

She still calls me Grissom regardless where we are; at work on a case or at home eating dinner or having sex. It doesn't bother me because when she says it, it has a very distinct tone that conveys how much she loves me. I will always be Grissom to her she told me once. She said that is who she fell in love with and a name change isn't necessary. 

So my mornings are spent with Sara's body pressed against mine. At home its all so physical. The touches, the caresses, the passion, everything becomes physical. I love to feel her heat, her breath, her hand on my chest, her soft hair on my chin, or her entire body on top of me as we fall asleep on the sofa together. I love her. During my nights at work I have her mind to keep me company which is just as appealing. 

I gave her an encased White Admiral Butterfly for our first anniversary of being together. She has it on the nightstand next to our bed. She stares at it every night when she can't sleep because of a rough case. Usually when I catch her so deep in thought I just lay beside her until she comes out of her trance. She needs to know that I am there for her. I know I cannot erase the past but I can be here for her now. Some nights when even I can't get her to sleep, I find her awake reading in my chair with a box of chocolate covered cherries next to her. More times than most I lead her back to bed, but sometimes I know she needs her space and leave her alone. She does the same when I am deep in thought. We trust each other to know when the time is right we will be there for each other. 

Now I have never put so much into the present. I enjoy every minute with Sara; every second. I know that there will be more years to come but right now I am content to have the present. We have talked about marriage but Sara says that she doesn't need a ring or a priest to know that I love her. She said she has the White Admiral Butterfly. I have to smile at such a comment. It's so Sara to say something like that. We also talked about children but still aren't too sure either one wants to make such a commitment to bring up a child without full effort by both of us. A child should not be a burden. We want to enjoy every soccer game, science fair, or whatever he or she decides to do. The future can take care of itself she told me. And I believe that, so we don't worry too much about what tomorrow will bring. Good or bad I am there for her and she is there for me. Who knows today's gray clouds might grant heavy rainfall. And we love the rain. 

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End file.
